| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Well I have a crush on a friend with whom I have been in constant contact through mail and chat for the last year and a half. (We knew each other 5 years ago through high school.) We know each other real well and I know that there is chemistry between us and I also realized that im really into her. Now the problem is that she has "finally" broken up from her 7 year old relationship with her x-boyfriend. It seems that her bf left her, so now he has some major trust issues and wants to be single for a while. Now i can understand the difficulty to get over something like this. My questions is in your opinion how much time will it take her to get over something like this and be ready for me? What signs should I wait for?Thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2012): excellent advice! patience is the key
"It seems you are a distance from each other as well when you only keep in contact through messages so long distance might not work either"
We're not really at such a distance because we are a small island, since she broke up we met twice already but i made sure it was in company of her friend and my friends so i wouldn't be pushing it.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 I would stick to being friends. As far as the time line, who knows? Since he dumped her, he might have mentally checked out a LONG time ago, doesn't mean she did.
Took me almost 2 years to get over a 4 1/2 year relationship. And that was even one that didn't end badly at all.
People move at different speeds.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Jaydilla11 +, writes (1 July 2012):
I agree with aunt_honesty i also think you should give her sometime to get over the break up.. Break ups are never easy and especially if you were together with that person for such a long time, so take it easy and be there for her as a friend that you are and eventually she will get over it and that's when you will step in and hopefully be the new man in her life good luck and just play it by ear
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Seven years is a long time, and if he left her then am sure she is going to be heart broken, it is good she has you there as a friend, but please do not rush her in to anything, I am sure you don't want to be her rebound. Everyone is different when it comes to getting over someone and I think for her being single for a while is the best way forward for now. You cannot really put a time frame on how long it will take for her to want to move forward. Just be there for her as a friend at the moment and don't get your hopes built up. It seems you are a distance from each other as well when you only keep in contact through messages so long distance might not work either.
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