A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: We broke up last week and a few days later she suddenly came to my place crying, we barely talked because she was crying a lot and we didn't make any decision that day. Two days after I told her we should talk and it was better to talk in a restaurant, we went there and talked about the reasons why we broke up like my jealousy that made us fighting a lot for over a year, because I don't trust her, her being bipolar and hot and cold with me, that she wanted children and get married and I wasn't ready,etc. Anyway we had a great talk but we had our disagreements, we had our dinner and after that we came to my place to talk more but I thought to myself "Maybe we should sleep, I'm tired, she's a little drunk, tomorrow we can talk again!" And we did it, but instead of just sleep we had an amazing sex and now we're back together! Should I try again? If I broke up she would think "He just wanted to use me for sex and now is dumping me?" What I should do? I'm feeling so confused right now! Should I try again harder to cope with my issues? Change my mind and break up for real?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (11 October 2016):
I have read your other post, and well you really need to make up your mind. Because yes she is going to think you used her for sex. I can understand your doubts but why not try and get help for your issues? Communicate with her your worries and try and work through them together. Also be honest with her that you are not ready for children and marriage yet, don't lie or give her false hope.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 October 2016):
The breakup was short lived. Normally a break up is permanent and I don't advise going back to an ex but if it was a week or less then it was just a really bad fight. I had this with my now husband. We broke up and about a week later we talked and opted to try again.
Since you are feeling confused i suggest you discuss that with her.
lay out all the issues both yours and hers, come to an agreement on how you wish to move forward. Set some rules, figure out coping techniques.
set a time frame to see if it can work out like 3 months.
and then re-evaluate.
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A
female
reader, UniquelyMe +, writes (11 October 2016):
Honestly to me it seems you have a lot of doubts with this. In my opinion if you have more than a few doubts in a relationship. That you shouldn't be in that relationship. As you will always keep questioning yourself. Did i do the right thing getting back together?. I think for both of your sakes it might be best to call it quits if you haven't already. Because you will both end up getting hurt all over again.
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