A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a serious obsession, it's with a guy, who I hang round with an awful lot. I am completely out as gay, and although he says he is not gay, there are so many factors that make us know he is not telling the truth. As wrong as it may be, I once looked through his phone and saw texts (not sweet ones either) from two different men, and another person who we hang around with have seen the revealing pictures on his phone to match the faces. This guy is incredibly camp, and has all the stereotypes of an effeminate man (he makes me look like Wolverine!). I suppose my point is that I really want him to be open and honest... or at least get his head sorted out, because he won't allow any of us to speak about it. He denies it completely. I don't know however if my feelings are just getting the better of me though, and I am just wanting it for selfish reasons. The guy sleeps next to me and cuddles up in bed with me some days, despite the lack of actual intimacy, I would still say that was pretty self certifying! Me and him spend so much time together it's untrue, and we both feel wierd if we don't speak to eachother for more than a couple of days... any guidance? :(
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male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 Well... you certainly can't FORCE anyone to come out, or even to accept their sexuality. It sounds like he may already be in the self-acceptance phase. However, there are MANY MANY factors - all personal - which either allow each one of us to come out or determine whether we have to remain in the closet. Don't push the issue. Just be supportive. Be there for him. Make your self available and non-judgmental.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): He may be gay, or bi. But it sounds like he's not into you.
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