A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 and realizing my sexuality that I'm bisexual and it took a while for me to realize that because I was afraid of being gay. But I surely know I'm gay but I having a hard to worrying what others think. No one knows about me I feel like it's my business so I shouldn't tell but when I start to open up to boys I get scared reason 1 is that I'm worried what would my family and friends say and I bag down. Reason 2 is im scared to make a move on a guy because because Im a masculine gay guy and I only like straight guys or masculine guys. Im scared to make a move because I don't want to be outted on being gay in high school. People say all the time be friends first but I can't do that because I Want them bad and I tend to flirt in a hard way or even stair them down. Are there any signs I can tell if a guy is gay? What if a guy stairs at you constantly and you stair back and he doesn't say anything and i turn my head first because I'm scared and No straight guy stares at another guy do they? Does anyone having any advice on worrying about family and friends when you are gay and know how to get a straight acting undercover gay guy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): I would not suggest openly flirting with someone unless you are positive of their sexuality.
I guess you can try to become friends with some of these guys and peek for any homosexual mannerisms well like feminine mannerisms but not ever gay male is like that.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (10 August 2011):
 I would suggest opening up to a handful of trusted, close friends first - without flirting with them or hitting on them. I'm straight, but even the widely-accepted practice of chasing girls' skirts is much easier with a good support group, so i can only imagine that it must be a huge relief for a gay man to have someone to lean on.
There's always the chance that one of them knows a guy, too. Just be careful who you come out to - it's always a risk, especially in certain parts of the country.
It's probably best not to read too much into staring. Staring is as much a dominance thing as a romantic thing; the guy could easily be staring because he has a lot of self-assurance, not because he's interested. I deliberately trained myself to never be the first to look away when I lock eyes.
Unfortunately, I don't have any advice on how to spot incognito gay dudes. But speaking as a straight man who has had a couple of friends come out to me, when you do come out, do it platonically, in a relaxed environment where the straight guy won't feel like things are too intimate. If you want a man to accept your orientation, then you don't want to challenge the guy's straightness or masculinity, even by accident.
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