A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 21. I and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years now. I always try to make her happy by cracking jokes, make her laugh. In our 1st 6 months, she completely ignored me as if we were just friends and took more interest in other guys. But after time passed, she left contact with other mails on my repeated requests. There had been no physical love between us for the 1st year. Then I kissed her on her cheak and she got angry and went away but I always thought that it was my right. I never cheated on her, never told a lie. On my all the time begging, requesting and sometimes yelling, she let me kiss her lips one day. Now last weak was her bday. She came with me to my home, I took her to my bedroom, we made love, upto her upper body only. She cuddled me for 2 hours even after that. Now today, I asked her for such same moments again and she got angry and said: I am not a callgirl that you keep asking for the same thing. What should I do? Please help me. She is never willing to give me herself but always taking all of me without a doubt :'( Pls help me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Artfuldodger  +, writes (28 September 2009):
move on brother...she is using you for your money, and fun. thrill of being chased it seems is a drug for her, move on, talk to other girls. Trust me she will come runnibg back...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): And when I ignore her, she texts "Dont you love your fairy, dont you love your sweetheart?" And when I say "You are building walls between us, you are not doing right to me", she again starts cursing and says "Then fuck a slut or a whore if you cant control yourself"
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): I am the same guy in problem. The other probem is that when at times I get offended, she starts cursing me, talks rough. I care for her, always hold her books in the university, run to buy something for her when she feels hungry, run to buy painkillers when she is having backpain due to periods. All day, giving her smiles. I know she did not have any past. I am her 1st love. Then??? Is there something wrong in me? Maybe I am not goodlooking. She calls me handsome but all for mere words. How should I cntrl myself? She is so beautigul to me. I call her my fairy, i praise her beauty and figure. Hard for her to go in a hotel room and make love only. Not sex if she is dying to have it with me :'( Then she says "Go fuck a slut if your body is on fire"
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A
female
reader, Kendra0589  +, writes (28 September 2009):
 It seems to me like she is confused. I'm figuring she wants to be affectionate with you but she's afraid of getting hurt. If she's been hurt in the past maybe that is part of the problem. Continue to give her time and see if she comes around if not you need to move on. No one wants to be in a relationship if they get no affection. You seem like a good guy, try to talk it over with her.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (28 September 2009):
 I know what that feels like. My ex was with me for three years, during which I wanted to be closer to her and she wanted to keep a certain distance from me. I wanted to passionately kiss her, she wanted to only give me quick pecks. I could cuddle her, but sex (even some oral) was virtually out of the question. I was honest, loyal, and giving, but she was distant. Ultimately, the strain caused us to become emotionally distant too, until she ultimately decided we were not going to work and left me.
Honestly, looking back on it (and this was only five weeks ago), I'm glad. I don't want to go through my whole life with a woman that can't return my feelings. I loved her, and she loved me, but I also wanted to hold her, kiss her, and make love to her... feelings that were not evenly reciprocated. It made me feel ugly, untouchable, and unloved. She called me handsome, but then wouldn't be physically affectionate with me in the way I needed. I would not have been happy with her in the long haul, feeling like she didn't really want me. It wore on my esteem over time.
Ultimately, you just have to decide. She isn't going to change magically into a touchy-feely woman. It's your call: Are you willing to devote yourself to this woman, knowing she may NEVER touch you or be touched the way you want, may NEVER be affectionate like you want? If so, then go into this knowing that she cannot cuddle or be sexual with you in a way you desire. If not, then maybe you're like I am and would be better off moving on, finding someone closer to your personality.
I cannot advise either way except to please, don't repeat my mistake. Don't think you can change her. This is who she is, and you can either be happy with her like this, or you have to move on to someone you can be happy with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): If she's a virgin she's definitely intent on keeping it. If she's not a virgin she's not at all interested in what you have to offer. Maybe she's playing hard to get.
What should you do? Look for a more willing partner my friend. This one is going to be very hard work. I suspect even if you married her she would insist on getting undressed with the lights off and would never get into bed naked, married or not.
Cut your losses and find another woman who is more amenable.
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