A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a major problem aunts, i have been dating a girl long distance and everything has been going great because of how much she likes me, i didnt think long distance could work but it is lol. Well we can only really talk most days at 12am till 2am because she has collage and work, and if im lucky sometimes at 11pm. It usually takes multiple tries to get ahold of her because when she has told me to call most of the time she has fallen asleep so ive grown acustom to having to do this. Well last night i called her after failing to reach her the night before which sometimes happens and i had a bad day the day i missed her, my family had been fighting and blaiming about 90% of what they were going on about on me which left. I had locked myself in my room to cry while they continue to fight outside my room, not physically but just yelling at each other and me. I called her around 11:30 hopeing to get her and tried multiple times but nothing so i gave up and went to sleep crying, and wishing i was out of my parents house now..Well last night when i got ahold of her around midnight she answered sort of agrivated and i knew something was wrong. She told me that she had been fired from her job, because her phone kept ringing, because of me. It hit me like a brick in the stomach i felt sick instantly, and what makes it worse she wasnt actually working for wages but for tuition for collage for nursing and becuase of me she had to go find another job this morning. I felt terrible and expressed that, i felt physically sick and like a total ass and was crying.I didnt intend for that to happen, i was having major emotional problems that night and just wanted someone to talk to and didnt know she was working overtime she never told me. I was made even more upset by the fact she wasnt upset with me, rather upset with the whole situation and her boss who fired her over 5 calls that she couldnt control and couldnt answer to stop. I think i honestly feel worse about it then she does in some ways, she is aggravated and agry while im depressed and upset and cried myself to sleep and slept till 1pm this morning, and im still mopeing around. I feel like she is upset with me a little, but i dont know how to make it up to her, i want to but have no clue how. I dont think i will forgive myself till i find a way to, im a mess, how would you feel if you effectivly ended someones collage career for at least a week, possibly a semester, possibly a year because you were depressed and missunderstandings.Is there any chance that i could call her boss maybe and explain the situation and get her job back if i take responsibility for the situation. Would an office manager allow her to have her job back if it wasnt her fault at all and someone takes responsibility for it. If you guys know if there are any chances of getting her job back, or have other ideas to make up with her, i cant face her till i know i can. Thanks aunts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont normally talk to her other then yahoo once in a blue moon and the phone and that is it, and that is a once a day affair, it but i don't even know if she forgave me for messing things up, she didn't seem that mad at me but she talked to me for like 5 to 10 min of me feeling terrible and she went to bed because she needed to look for a job the next morning. Thats what bothers me the most is that i don't know if she stayed aggravated at me or not. I hate the unknown and i found out her phone was left at her aunts so i know that was explained her aunt called me and that she ran off with on of her friends so i have no way of getting in contact until she gets her phone back or uses the net.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk guys im confused and i would like more help, i posted this yesterday and basically sent a message to every profile of hers i could find and it seems like she hasn't been on the net that failed. Sent a few text messages no response till this morning except her friend messing with me acting like her until he/she informed me she left her phone at their place.Called her a few times last night at her time of 11:30, 12:10, and a little after 1 am she didnt answer at all, the later doesn't surprise me really but im afraid to even call more then twice in case she was working a new shift or something because i dont know.She called me which she almost never does last night but i didnt realize it because i locked myself in my room because of the stress she is causing me,decided to try to beat the hardest songs on guitar hero, when i get really stressed its what i do. i suppose she guesses i would do the calling most the time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): She's not too bright... First, she needs to take responsibility for having her ringer on at work. People assume that while they're being paid to perform a task that they can take personal calls w/o any issues. It's her job to understand the company policy. If she has a annoying ring tone then double stupid on her. At my office, leave your ringer on + stupid ring tone (clucking chickends got this) and your phone is going in a random file cabinet where it can go off till the battery dies...
So, if she's blaming you... she needs to look at herself.
You, on the other hand, may need to address your emeotional state... good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am going to ask her and i do plan to ask like right now im trying to get to her without running the risk of ruining a interview if she is doing on by any chance, she went job hunting today.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionive met her yes she lives about 2 and half hours away lol, thanks guys i told her i felt terrible already and she started out mad but ended up trying to calm me down and failed sorta, most guys couldnt care less i couldnt not care if i tried. Ill get ahold of her and see if she minds if i try.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): If it's true that she isn't annoyed with you, then it's because she isn't someone that resents people easily, and knew you didn't know she was working overtime, as if you knew she was working you wouldn't have called. Or, she is slightly angry but knows it was unintentional, and doesn't want you to feel any more guilty.
Before getting to the end of your post, my first thought was for you to try and call her boss and explain that you hadn't realised she was working and you could take the blame, but you have to say it with sincerity. Also, if she was working she shouldn't have had her phone on and/or with her, so keep that in mind, because they may bring it up - you can't take the blame for that one. It MIGHT work, but you'll only find out if you try, and even if it doesn't, I'm sure your girlfriend will appreciate the effort you've gone into to get her job back.
Please remember that, even though it was you that called her, you're not entirely to blame. She should have turned her phone off (I'm sure she's aware of that now) and I think you need to communicate more (which I'm sure you're aware of now), so this doesn't happen again. If you really want to express how sorry you are then you could send her a sorry card, and next time you see each other, treat her to something special.
I know that this isn't your reason for posting, but another thing that caught my attention was how you describe your family life, or at least, one event in it.
If you feel unhappy in your current situation, and can't get along better with your family, then is moving out an option? Could you move in with another family member such as grandparents or an aunt or uncle?
If you can't, then unfortunately you may have to put up with it until you can afford to move out somewhere, or even possibly until you can move in with your girlfriend, depending on both of your work/study situation and how serious your relationship is.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): try, you have nothing to lose. How long distance are we talking? Have you met her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): Even if the chances are slim, there is no harm in trying. You can explain to the manager your case and tell the manager that you will no longer call her during her work hours. As well, explain that she really needs the job to help her get through college.
As for 'the next' time, you could refrain from calling her and simply, just text her or suggest to her to make her phone silent.
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