A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend recently told me something that I wish she never had. She was going through a tough time, and slept with guys, then woke up with them in her bed, and didnt remember what had happened. She said this happened several times. There was substance abuse during this period. I know that everybody has a past, and this was before I came into the picture, and I understand that it was a difficult time in her life. Im happy that its just me and her now, and I want to forget this and move on. My problem is that I find myself wondering just how many times and with how many guys this happened. Woman are usually conservative on the numbers they give when it comes to this stuff, and she said several. Im not a prude, and I know people have sexual partners in their past, but this is different..... random, blacked out sex, with numerous different guys. She doesnt even know what could have been done to her. I love her, and I just cant wait for this to leave my mind for good. Just looking for advice. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I've been working on putting her past behind me, and I think that it is possible because I really love her. New problem is that she told me she never got tested for anything after this crap happened. I've been tested last week, and all clear. She still hasnt. Im worried for her since she cant remember the speicifics of those nights. I told her she should get tested, not for me, but for her. She is upset and thinks its for my benefit because she says she used to be a slut and Im scared she gave me something. Partly true. Who wouldnt be concerned after finding all of this out? I love her, and want to try to have a future together. I want to make sure that she has no contact with those guys anymore whatsoever.... no emails, no myspace, nothing. How can I do this without starting a big fight? She still is friends with some of the people from that period in her life. One girl in particular who she claims is a best friend, but was right there during the pills and promiscuous sex. What kind of friend is that? I want her to cut ties with all of that bad stuff, and start new with me, but I dont know if she will. Damn this sucks!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): AT least she's honest about the fact that she knew what she was doing. So often people, particularly women, say, oh, I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing. 95%+ of the time, people know exactly what they're doing, and where the path is going to take them: boozing, having fun, screwing, and, then, (usually) big feelings of regret, again, particularly for women. I'll tell you something you already know: the number is really high. Men who go to bars to party love to meet these kinds of women, for the night, and for the night only, to get their rocks off, maybe even a few times, plain 'n simple. And they're aren't enough of these types of girls to go around, so when you get one, it's golden for the night. Yep, her number is high if she willing to do this over and over again. Sorry, Dude.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 April 2009):
 If she quit drinking and got help I think she is heading in the right direction.
It might be that she told you to "test" you and how strongly you feel about her. If you truly love her you will understand that she has a past that she isn't proud of but still she is honest enough to share it with you.
For someone who have been trhough a rough time that is showing a LOT of trust in you.
You might have to be honest with her and tell her that it pains you to know this about her.
I guess it's up to you to figure out if it is somethign you can accept or not.
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A
female
reader, we-are-nowhere  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 i get where u come from , my boyfriend wont give me a number either and in his case it was just sex not blacked out sex , the only thing i know you shouldnt fo is act like it is a big deal infront of her , take it easy on the subject and ask in the right time , when u're ciddling and talking about intimate stuff in general and never forget to day u accept her regardless
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionForgot to add, she says she knew what she was doing, but just didnt remember when she woke up. So she decided to do these things, then blacked out. I didnt want the title to mislead anybody with advice. Thanks again.
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