A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,So lately i've been in a friends with benefits sort of situation. I know this sounds really weird but I met this guy online and we had talked about getting together for a couple months now... well we finally we made time and we have been having sex for the past two weeks. He's actually a reasonably cool dude and we have good conversation but I'm more attracted to his looks than his personality because he's not really my type. I'm a huge nerd and he's a jock-ish skater. Anyways... I was wondering why he's so into cuddling after sex? I was really shocked the first time we got together that after we finished he pulled me in super close and would not let me go. Even when i moved to adjust myself throughout the night he always kept in contact with my body and then pulled me in again. Even when im getting dressed to leave he leans on me. He also walks me to the door and tells me to text him as soon as i get home. So my question is... what's the deal? Why is he so affectionate? I've been in a friends with benefits situation before and the guy was never that touchy. And just a side note... I'm not looking to get a lecture as to why friends with benefits "never works" and how I'll get hurt in the end. I've done it before no problem and i'm just wondering why this guy is so cuddly and nice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2012): Agree with CindyCares. I had a guy that I can call it was friends with benefits, he was actually my best lover. We never went out, we only met for sex very regularly twice or once a month for 4 years. He was very cuddly also, and also we talked a lot sharing stories, he found me funny and liked my jokes. Then he walked me to my car, kissed, hugged, was saying that he had a great time, and that was it, I didn't hear from him for 2-3 weeks.This is how he acted with women I guess. We never became more than that, we both parted only when we met our future spouses.I still remember him after all these years. He was just a nice guy with good manners, but he never wanted to have relationship with me, and to say the truth neither did I. It was just different stages in our lives, i was still in school, busy with my everyday things, but when we met it was wonderful.Who knows may be he likes you very much, or may be he is just a nice guy.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 Hes wanting more than just friends.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 December 2012):
 I see it differently than the other posters. When it starts as FWB, 99% of times so it stays, I think it's very improbable - albeit not totally impossible- that his affectionate demeanour means he wants more or he's falling in love.
That's simply his sexual style. Some men are just warm, tactile, affectionate. Physical closeness , cuddling, pillow talk are simply part and parcel of the way the live the sexual act, it's the way they express their sexuality.
Actually, yours is not the first post I see here about this subject and I must say that it always makes me a little sad to see that the world must be becoming a colder and harsher place by the day , and women have come to expect less and less from men, if so many girls sound surprised by something that, IMO, is normal , i.e. that someone who is shagging you acts also a minimum of nice.
I don't know, but... for instance, why is it so exceptional sleeping embraced ? If one bothers having someone sleeping over in his bed, it will also be because of the SENSUAL , not just genital, experience, no ? The pleasure of touch, and feel, the warmth and the scent of the body next to yours... And why one should NOT walk the woman to the door, and call her a cab or tell her to text,etc.... this is something they'd do for any visiting guest, and they shouldn't do it for a woman they just have been intimate with ? ...
Conclusion : IMO, he is not particularly mushy or cuddly , he is simply doing it right :). Human. As the two human beings that you are, vs. two stray dogs or cats that detach themselves the moment that sperm has been emitted.
So, if certain things have changed so much that this is a strange and new experience to you, what can I say, ... I am SO glad that I am not in my 20's anymore, and that I don't have sex with 20something guys !
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): Only he knows for sure but it's only one of two things. He likes affection, even if he doesn't want a relationship (I've been there). I've also been with women who I wanted only sex and not an ounce of affection from.
Or, he wants a relationship with you.
In the end does it matter? Go with the flow. If he starts catching feelings remind him of what the situation is.
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A
male
reader, jfire86 +, writes (12 December 2012):
 Sounds like he might want more than a FWB. Some people are incappable of being FWBs. You need to talk to him and find out what his intentions and thoughts are before he thinks you too are in a relationship that you are not wanting. FWBs can be a rather messy endeavor.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 December 2012):
 my husband is a cuddler. when we were NSA/FWB our original first few meetings were more about cuddling than sex.
even now we cuddle way more than sex... LOTS of cuddles...
so he may just be a cuddly affectionate person.
The other issue may be that he wants MORE than FWB (my hubby did but all I was able to offer him at the time was FWB... when things changed for me his true feelings came out.
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