A
female
age
30-35,
*issEmilina
writes:Dear Cupid, For the past six months i have been in a kind of friends with benifits relationship with a guy in my group of friends, i only started talking to him last september and one of my frends gave him my number.He seemed like such a nice guy and i enjoyed texting him. i went over to his house a few days later. we just kissed and talked. kater that night he text me saying that he only saw me as a mate and that nothing was going to happen again. I was crushed as i was totaly lead on but yea got over it. but over the next week we talked and he eventually suggested we purely have a sexual relationship. its not my kind of thing but i went along with it because of the feelings i had for him. We continued with this for the next six months but during that time i got hurt alot, sometimes after we had sex he would text me sayin we couldn't do it anymore and then a week later he would be like come over and stuff. But i became very attached to him, i felt comfortable around him and was able to talk about personal problems that i had, same for him also. Then about two months ago our conversations became more deeper and he text me stuff that had nothing to do with sex. I realised i had fallen in love with him. Then ll of a sudden i find out he asked someone out without endind it with me.i was so hurt he didnt care about my feelings at all. When his date stood him up he started to text me again ans say things. And then two weeks ago he text me something with a sexual innuendo, the next day i found out he was meetin someone else.They got with each other but broke up after a few days and he is talking to me again after i went mad at him for what he did to me. I'm so lost i dont know what to do. He is trying to use me again and i can't let him but its so hard because i love him. I shared a deep connection with him and i sometimes feel he did too. It alays him textin me not the other wasy round so i dunno how h feels about me. I'm afraid to tell hin to fuck off and never speak to me again because he was the only person so far to show an interest in me but he has hurt me so much bacause he told me that he didnt like bein with people but he went out with someone so i feel like shit cause he wouldnt go out with me cause of the way i look.I feel like crap, i see the good and the bad in him but im trying to walk away but i can't, what should i do?
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female
reader, missEmilina +, writes (4 May 2009):
missEmilina is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has Still been texting me since i asked this question. It was at first normal stuff then bout an hour later he said 'Up for a quicky'. I replied back saying why because its clear that he doesn't even like me. He wrote back that it was his mate who had his phone. I clearly dont believe this as why would hisfriend text me that and also the the style of text was obviously his. I told him that and he said 'i don't know'. But we continued to text for the rest of the night and talked nothing about sex. He text me again yesterday just talking about normal stuff. I think he is trying to get on my good side again so i will sleep with him. I ignore him in school but i just can't when he tets me i find it really rude to do that. I really i'm just sick of all this but i don't know whatt to say to him. If i am really horrible to him it will be awkward because we hand around in the same group and i was always brought up with thr rule of always treat poeple wih re4spect even if they don't deseve it. I'm at a loss
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): So, you'd rather be a hot jerk's free sex toy than some other decent guy's beloved cherished girlfriend, huh?
It sounds harsh to say it like this, but it's the truth you need to face.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): I'm going to be harsh but truthful, this guy is using you. He probably knows how you feel so can guarantee you'll be there for a quickie when he needs it whilst attempting to find another girl.
Move on honey. He isn't worth your time. He is no good for you and you deserve someone who will be there for you for the longrun and actually care about you.
He's made you feel like crap and that's not right. Leave him, it'll be the best thing you'll do.
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A
female
reader, Rhian2020  +, writes (3 May 2009):
Hi hun,
I'm sorry that your going through such a tough time. I know how you feel as I went through something similar not so long ago.
Right ok, when you first kissed and he txt saying that nothing was going to happen again, maybe he wasn't sure about his feelings. But as you then entered a sexual relationship with him, clearly things were different.
If I'm totally honest with you he's playing with you. I mean he knows how you feel about him as you became very close, shared problems along with the sexual relationship. I'm sorry if what I say next sounds as though I'm being blunt, it's just that I don't want anyone else to go through what I went through. If he really cared about you and wanted to be with you then he would do. He sees you as someone who will come running to him if he clicks his fingers. Because of this he seriously can't respect you as a person. He knows that if his other relationships go wrong he'll always be able to come back to you because you let him. He knows he can get away with hurting you. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't care about you and is happy to hurt you the way he has. As for you saying he's the only one to show interest in you, I'm sure you will find someone who#s worthy of your love. I'm sure it'll be better for you to be single than be with someone who hurts you and who uses you like this. You seem like an amazing person so don't let this dick make you feel this way. You have to be strong and tell him to leave you alone when he txts, he only txts when he hasn't got any other girl. I know it's easy for me to tell you to tell him to fuck off but please get him out of your life before he makes you feel any worse. You don't deserve this.
I hope I've helped you a little. If you need any more advice please feel free to send me a private message. Take care.xx.
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