A
female
age
41-50,
*hhowcudibe
writes:Well i'm just really wanting to clarify what this guy is maybe thinking, I am casually meeting up with this guy for mutually agreed sex. We are the same age. He first messaged me on a dating site i was attracted so i started chatting, and he asked me what i was looking for i said a casual thing i didn't have the time or inclination for anything more and he said he just wanted some to meet up with someone now and again! We agreed on it and thats what we've done for the past few month met up for sex. But what i don't get is each time we meet, whether there has been a week or 3 weeks between last meeting, he asks if i have been meeting up with other guys, or done anything sexual with other guys etc and also sometimes says do you want to meet up with me again. I was thinking he is trying to find an excuse to get out of the arrangement but then again he should just stop texting me to meet up if thats the case, so i just don't know why i get questioned everytime we meet? I don't ask him whether he meets other girls, i don't think i have the right to because we are not in a relationship!What i also noticed was strange insecure questions from him the first few times we met up like "are you only meeting me 'cos you feel sorry for me" and putting himself down, picking out things he doesn't like about his appearance (which is strange because he is gorgeous looking.. tall dark and fit!) and asking me why did i want to meet him.Anyway i'm just finding the whole thing rather odd and would just like some outside opinions on the situation?Thankyou
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2010): For myself, its my experiences with women that have me insecure about my looks even tho Im told "I have nothing to worry about". However, Im having surgery on my stomach in dec as it has bothered me since I was a kid. Im doing this not to just pls ladies physically but also because I dont think women like my personality so Im drastically changing both, mental and physical. The physical part is def concern of health too which i wont even begin to bore you with cause its a long story. Chances are he's just had some bad experiences with people commenting about his physique or what he perceives in the media as the only socially acceptable body.
A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 I have an ex boyfriend who was AMAZING looking, gorgeous, great personality, well...everything.
However, he was very insecure about his looks. But remember, we are our greatest critic.
I later found out during our relationship that when he was growing up he was cross eyed and go teased alot, later in life he had surgery to straighten his eyes out but the effect of the teasing made him insecure so no matter what he looked like, he still had that insecurity.
maybe your guy has something similiar?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 Ok well its obvious this guy is completely lacking in self confidence and belief and he is crying out for attention, he puts himself down as he feels that he is a bad person, now as for your arrangement to be honest with you this is not going to help his self esteem in fact it is actually probably making him worse mentally as he is probably telling himself she doesnt want me she just is using me for sex and she probably feels sorry for me and that is why she is doing it believe me low self esteem is tough. He is probably questioning you about other men as he doesnt want to share you as this will make him feel even less worthy. So i think the best thing to do is let him go and try and be a friend to him instead of a sex partner try to be a platonic friend and help him through his problems.
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