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anonymous
writes: Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it doesn't end up too lengthy. I've been having some struggles with my marriage, and I was hoping some of the agony aunts may be able to lend some helpful advice.My husband and I are newlyweds, so you'd think that we'd be still in the honeymoon phase, but we're far from it. We were married a few months ago and I moved across the country to be with him, as he is in the military and he must live at his assigned duty base. We got off to a rocky start, with car troubles, money troubles, and just about every other trouble there is. This really only added to my stress level.You see, I think the military has really changed the man I married. He's so rude and careless now. He never stops to think of anyone else but himself. Any time we go anywhere or do anything, it's always what he wants to do, and never what I want. Any time I bring any of this up to him, he gets angry with me and thinks that I am arguing with him. Sometimes he'll ask me what's wrong, and I hate that question, because no matter what my answer is, he'll get pissed.I also have a hard time trusting my husband, because a couple times while we were dating he set up accounts online to talk to women. I was very offended, but I thought this behavior was over with. Yet again, while we were enganged this time, he set up an account online to truly make an attempt to hook up with random women for sex. He never did, but the fact that he made the attempt hurt just as much. I broke up with him after that, but got back together with him a while later. He was angry at me for kissing another man while we were apart, and loves to throw it in my face, but I don't see what I did wrong, considering we weren't really together at that point.Maybe I'm crazy for being in this relationship, but it's not all bad. There are really good things too. I just want for those bad things to be dealt with. He won't talk to me about it, and there's no way we could afford marriage counseling. I'm just so sick of being taken for granted. He's completely selfish, yet I love him and I don't even know why. What can I do to patch up these rough spots in our relationship? Thanks for your help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): Hi sorry to hear about your problem. I am an ex army women and married to an ex army bloke and just to say its the army attitude they are all like it it took me a long time to see it but we are all the same if you both love each other you have to get some help so sadly you will fall apart. I would run personally as it seems by you letter you have already made your mined up. I am still with my hubby because he left and finely became the man i want but when he was in he always wanted what he wanted to do. Found that with all military
Sorry
hope you work it out
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female
reader, fishfinger +, writes (18 November 2006):
Hi, sorry got to be quite hard here - get rid of him!! I had one like that for 38 year and it never got any better. Promises, yes but they nver happened. Just a spoilt little boy at the end of the day, very selfish and could never see another point of view. You deserve better - so go find it!! Best wishes, Fishfinger
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