A
female
age
36-40,
*innysma
writes:One night stand to a relationship to a booty call? Is that what it is? Ok so I really like this guy, hes 22 im 24 i slept with him right away a drunken mess really but we both think the sex we have is awesome. Neway back in June 08 it started off every other weekend cuz I have a child and Im single and all. Then once twice a week and so on until he was over nearly everyother day sometimes a two three in a row he spent the night ocasionally during the week we both worked at the time now only he does. Neway I was going through tuff times custody battle, livin at home etc. He finally asked be to be his gf in Sept. well everything was good. I moved to an apt. he was talkin about movin out of his folks I told him he could move in with me he helped me move but he didn't come and thats ok, i never brought it up again still. Well in Nov. I had the bright idea to ask him one night what he wanted from me, and that nothing had to change I was just wondering cuz I don't know really. neway about a week later after ignoring a few texts he called and said he didnt want a seriouse relationship no reason just didnt want either of us to get hurt. I was devistated but after a few weeks he started coming around we hung out had sex, id call him from the bar and ask him to come get me, or i would be out with his friends and we end up at his place (parents), so on new years I told him i loved him and bla bla, we still sleep together hang out every once in a while he supports me hes perfect, we have always been really honest we have told eachother who we slept with while we werent together ect. and he still comes around while I am the only one sleepin with other people, so we took a break i quit calling and so did he except the ocasional text we barely talked for a month Feb/Mar well i got a bf and he calls and I decided that I wanted to break up with my bf and we are back to sleeping together as of last weekend he came over and we went and ended up at his house and hes been over once since last night actually. I never intended to fall for him but I have what do I do, I have never been with anyone close to my age I am so confused really. His friends say he likes me more than he will admit to anyone even them, so whats going on what do I do.
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a break, booty call, drunk, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2009): Men don't develop relationships with women who start off as one night stands -- thereafter, it's always just a bootie call, even of they pretend it's a relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): This relationship is based on sex and immaturity. Don't do anything. Let him call you. If you want him to actually step up and be in a committed relationship then you are going to have to start acting like a lady instead of a drunken sott. Sorry to be so harsh, but what do you expect from a guy when you call him for a booty call, tell him how you have been sleeping around while not with him, find a boyfriend for a month and then break up with him to have sex with this guy?
Let the guy chase you and ask you out, let him invest some money in this relationship and take you out for a nice meal or something.....
You say your son adores him, but this guy doesn't want to be a father figure....it really doesn't sound like he is all that interested in anything than a sexual relationship to me, and you are easy so why not.
For the sake of your son, I would give a relationship more time, and have more respectable commitment out of it before I would bring my son around the man....but hey that is just me.....I think a revolving door of men is not the best thing for a young child.
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A
female
reader, vinnysma +, writes (27 March 2009):
vinnysma is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs far as a sex only relationship I am ok with that actually I prefer it, that way my son never gets involved but I really do want more than that from him, I just think we get along good, we enjoy some of the same things, we both are total clutzes, lol but I dont know i just feel like we are good together we are not that alike its like yin and yang balance, we both have had different lives totally different but we connect on this other level I cant even explain it really. I guess the one thing I have heard from rumor is he is afraid that I will want him to be a father figure to my son, but i dont want him to act as his dad. I just want to have my son see how a good man treats a woman, rather than what he has experienced, just a good role model. I want to raise my son fully by myself not alone. My son adores him and maybe that's the problem.
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A
female
reader, vinnysma +, writes (27 March 2009):
vinnysma is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really apreciate the advice, I dont have many friends that are chicks so this really helps. I have always been one to jump head first into a relationship, so maybe this waiting thing is a good plan, but it seems like i am waiting forever, I know he has had some bad relationships with girls cheating on him so hopefully he will come around. I guess take it one day at a time. I don't text him or even talk on a daily basis anymore, eversince November when we broke up neway. I have really been tryn hard to stay away, and not force myself on him i hope i am doing the right thing. when we were not talking we always ran into each other, like on four different occasions in two months, and he always ends up at my place or at his, god i hope this is love not lust.
Tank you all for your insight i really do find it helpful
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A
female
reader, Pandaholic123 +, writes (27 March 2009):
 A relationship only based on sex is an easy way to get your heart ripped into a million or more pieces...Sorry dear but it's true- It in fact sounds like he likes you more and more...If you really want to hold onto him- give him some time. Maybe he'll chage his mind. =) and admit the way he truely feels (for the best of course) Hope this helps?
May
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): it sounds like he wants you all to himself but doesnt want to have to commit. he is young yet but that isnt an excuse. are you satisfied with a sex only relationship? in my experience someone always gets hurt in those situations. it sounds to me like you have invested alot of time, thought, and feelings into this and arent getting it in return. trust me on this, because i speak from experience, as long as you give it up to him and he doest have to commit then he wont. i know that sounds harsh and i dont want to come off mean. i just want you to put your feelings first here. think long and hard about where this is going. let me know how it goes for you. good luck.
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