A
female
age
36-40,
*ayla20
writes:(Mod note: 2 questions on this page from same OP)1) my friend has been dealing with the face she has polycycstic ovaries for a few years now her main priority in life is to have children she thinks because i am younger than her (21) that time is running out for her and she should have had what she wanted by now even though she is aware she may never be able to have children.i feel like in some ways she hates me for having children especially with her younger brother and i feel like i am always trying to act like im not overwhelmed with joy that i am going to be a mum to a second child and walk on egg shells around her to stop her from having a breakdown.she refuses to see a councillor about the way she is feeling as she doesnt believe this matter is causing her depression,however it is all she ever thinks about like if i was to have a disagreement with her shel bring up something to do with having polycycstic ovaries even if the argument isnt to do with children she goes on self destruct writing depressing and worrying statuses on facebook if i write on my status how happy i am with my bf (her brother) my first child and the fact that i am going to be a mum soon.how should i deal with this matter?i have tried to make her feel like she has plenty of time to have children and she should concentrate on other things for the time being, i am there for her and always trying to spare her feelings but i dont know how much longer i can sympathise with her situation because she makes it like the world is selfish and she is the only one that has bad luck when there are plenty of other people with worser problems and it hasnt been confirmed that she is infertile and basically tries to seek attention with worrying thoughts even though she isnt stable enough to have a child she has no personal address as she has moved back with her mother she doesnt have a partner, a job anything that can help financially support a child plus i dont think shes in the right state of mind to be able to look after a child what can i do?2)any time i make a comment about how im feeling down on facebook or how i wish certain situations could b easy my friend replies saying something like "how do u think i feel" or "i was hoping you could tell me that" trying to let on that she is down about her life but im not interested in hearing about the problems she has when she just wants attention and sympathy over a situation she has been dealing with for about 5 years and living situations, work etc which in my eyes she isnt making the effort to change i dont want to be mean and not listen but im sick and tired of having to try and come up with solutions to her problems that she doesnt try to help herself with should i just ignore her comments on facebook or any ideas on how to deal with this situation?
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female
reader, usach33rx33  +, writes (19 March 2010):
 She shouldnt be putting you down jsut because she has this rare disorder. she should be happy for you because you get to experience something wonderful in your life. you shouldnt hold back your excitement you have every right to be excited and quite frankly she shouldbe supportive and willing to help you every chance she gets. it seems like she's making you feel bad for something you have no control over. you need to confront your friend and tell her your sorry but you are stressed and probably going through alot and she's not helping. if your friend is stressing you out or causing you depression your kid CAN be effected by it. so i would either eliminate her from the problem or try to talk to her about it and tell her your sorry for whats going on. one way or another everything in the end will work out. hope i helped =)
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