A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I shall keep this as simple and uncomplicated as possible. I met an amazing woman about three months ago via a strange (yet wonderful) twist of fate. We went out on several romantic dates, laid back lunches and were just enjoying getting to know one another. We both felt a strong chemical connection, as we are alike in many ways and we formed a great bond. We had our first kiss about two months into the relationship, and then as soon as it ended, I got the "I'm sorry, but I'm not ready for anything serious" quote. I told her this was fine, as I felt we were on the same page, and I didn't push for anything. She respected my being understanding and straight after that she texted me more than ever wanting to spend more time with me. Texts became daily and we'd see eachother a few times a week. We'd go on dates together and it certainly felt like we were a couple during all of this. I felt that this was because I put no pressure on her and we were going with the flow. One evening when we were spending time together I noticed she was feeling uneasy when I was being affectionate with her, so the next day, I asked her how she was feeling. She mentioned that although she imagines we'd make a lovely couple a relationship will be too much for her, since she had just got out of a horrible relationship and needed to be alone. She wants to be my friend right now because for her, to be in a relationship is not the right thing. I completely understood her position and said I'd be happy to be her friend. Since that time our bond has become so much stronger. She has opened up to me more, said I love you for the first time recently and told me she trusts me. I feel as though although the timing is not right for a romantic relationship right now, we are still formulating something so wonderful, unique and perhaps labeling it friendship. I just wonder...is there any future hope for re-igniting the romantic flame after being placed in the "friend right now category?" I really do like this girl, but I think it will be sensible to emotionally distance myself from her because of where she stands right now. Thoughts? Any help is appreciated!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): It sounds as if things are very slowly moving in the right direction. I'd hang on in there for now. Be the person you are and enjoy each others company, I'd give it more time. At some stage you may want to revisit the 'where is this going issue' but I'd do it gently and sensitively, knowing that romance may never fully blossom but you will have a friendship.
A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Okay, so I definitely think there'something there by the sounds of it and obviously its clear she has got feelings for you, I just think the whole "horrible relationship" is stopping her because of past experiences, she doesn't want to get hurt and she just wants to be happy, you just need to be there for her and make her feel like she can trust you if you want to be with her.
I don't know how long this would take, I don't think you can put a time on it how quick/long it would take, so if your not wanting to either get lead on for her to just turn around and say no, or wait a while for her to decide whether she wants to, then its probably best to distance yourself away from her, but still be friends to spare her feelings.
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