A
male
age
51-59,
*ps
writes:So I have a friend from France, and she and her sister come and visit some times. I have gotten to know her sister well, and I have taken the two of them out with friends of mine here in New York. I introduced them to and they have gotten to know one couple in New York very well, and that couple has even gone out with them in France, which is really nice I think. Well one sister is visiting New York for the holidays--I know because she's on facebook and said so, and of course I said "well, let's go out while you here" and invited her out one night with some other friends. She totally flaked on me, which is fine, people flake. I texted her yesterday she said she would call later in the day, but then didn't. She also mentioned in her reply text that she's staying with that couple who I introduced them too. Neither the couple nor the French girl said a word to me before hand, and they have not invited me to join them (they are going out alot--thanks to the photos they've posted on facebook I've seen it all unfold in real time). I can take a hint--clearly, I'm not invited. But I feel like it's kind of crummy on their part. Maybe I did something offensive, I don't know, but I don't think it's very nice. Are they being rude, or is that something that is okay and I should just roll with it? How should I react to them? I'm not the kind to say, "hey, what's up with that?" This is really bothering me. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2012): I would"t like this very much either. I feel that there should be a kind of loyalty towards you for introducing them in the first place.I know you can't own people or make them do things but I would expect to be told if they were coming over and to be included as a matter of courtesy. This doesn't appear to be happening here so if I was you I would not text anymore and let them get on with their own thing. You have behaved decently, suggested you all get together etc and they ave not responded. You will probably never know why but don"t let it prey on your mind just don't text and don't look at the Facebook pictures if it bothers you. I was once cut out of something similar and it hurt me very much but the only thing I could do was opt out. I never found out why they chose to exclude me although I analysed every conversation and text but eventually I just had to ignore it and get on with other things in my life. You have behaved well and have the moral high ground on this one but I would just leave them be.
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