A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello therethis is not really a dating question but some recent events got me thinking..Recently two of my best mates broke up for the slightest of reason. They always had been close and inseparable. Always happy in each others company and the other day they had a small argument. I thought it would be forgotten in minutes for how small it was. But now they don't even talk let alone try to mend fences with each other.They were together for as long as I remember and I was wondering that are the factors that suddenly change you who you are to make such decisions and what are the underlying factors that suddenly makes you unable to stand someone whilst before you couldn't be to without each other ?your views he highly appreciated!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 September 2014):
 I don't think it's sudden, ir, the sudden argument was just the catalyst of a chang that had already begun since a while.
Often, it is like... getting older. I mean, every morning day you lok at your face in the mirror, and it never seem any different from the night before, right ?... Then, one day you take out your pics of 10 or 15 years ago, and yes, you can see the difference very well, it's plain and evident. You just could not see it while it was happening because the changes were daily, but almost imperceptible.
People change, in time, they take different paths, different views, different attitudes. It takes a while to realize it, or , also, you realize it, but affection and habit keeps you sticking together with someone who, in fact , is not that much your type of person anymore. Until some exterior event, not necessarily major or all-important... forces you to aknowledge the change officially.
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (19 September 2014):
 People change. Simple as that.
Our early to mid twenties is a time when we go through perhaps the most changes as a person, in a different yet more profound way than the changes that occur when we are teenagers. Adult life experience changes us, shapes us, alters our outlook, our needs, our interests and what we want from others. Whether it be relationships, or in the instance you are describing friendships, two or more people who spent years or even a lifetime as close, trusting friends, can suddenly become incompatible.
I had a friend who I was very close to all my life until I was around 24. We both shared the same world view, same ambitions, same outlook. Then I went out to work and had the shock of my life. I was treated like shit, endured a mine field of politics and almost got fired in my first week because of a spiteful bitch playing mind games. I left that position and had another job where I was bullied by my manager and had to leave. Made me ill. My friend was still studying and full of how he was going to move to America, earn $60k a year and blah, blah, blah. I saw him as naïve and idealistic, he saw me as negative and boring. I looked after a sick family member and had been forced out of paid employment, he was going out partying and expected his parents to sort his life out. We very quickly drifted apart and although here was no defining moment to end the friendship, the fact we were at different stages of maturing and developing was the factor that ripped us apart.
Also, in our twenties the petty arguments that causes teens to fall out gets replaced with more serious issues. For instance, having a friend kiss your "girlfriend" when your 16 seems like the end of the world, yet having a friend get involved with your husband when your pregnant and working every hour god sends to pay for a mortgage and baby to be is a damn sight harder to cope with.
As an adult plenty of people will come and go from your life. Its sad but part of it im afraid.
Mark
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