A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Readers,I would really appreciate what people think of what my supposed friend has said to me just recently.To cut to the chase I have been trying to beat the Domestic Violence Cycle for around 20 years now and finally enough strength with my Psychologist, Studying and half way through a degree in Pscyhology/Criminology and Law to break away from my abisive, toxic family who have always denigrated me, put me down in front of my daughter and always given my daughter an out whenever she didn't like any healthy boundaries that I was trying to establish. This has resulted in my daughter being abusive to me despite all of my attempts to get Family Therapy for us and my daughter seeing a Psychologist. Since February of this year I decided that I wanted to cut contact with my family due to being constantly used up, used as a Crisis Care line, threatened and abused. My supposed friend who I have known for the last 15 years was in contact with me on a regular basis saying he loved me heaps and was always going to be there for me and would offer me his support. He was phoning me almost everyday suggesting to me that I sell my house and move away and that he and his boyfriend could squeeze in and throw in a bit for the rent/mortgage etc. Since I have told him that I am not going to sell or rent my house and stay where I am he has cooled right off with his support and I don't hear from him much at all. He has also told me in the past that if I don't get away from my house that I would finish up killing myself due to pressures from my family?The last time I spoke to him I told him that My Psychologist said that I was an amazing mother and that I have been under an enormous amount of pressure over the last three years from my daughter, her father and my mother and that she said I have always tried to do what was right by my daughter and be a good Mum and didn't lose my head.I told my supposed friend who said he cared about me a lot what my Psychologist said and he said Yes you have been lucky in that way that you haven't had a break down. I have a problem with this comment of his. My mother has always said I am lucky that I have a house. It's like excuse me it wasn't luck that got me a house, it was my hard work and sacrificing that got me my house. His comment of luck for some reason is causing me a lot of anxiety and anger. I mean Luck for not having a Breakdown. I would have thought it more appropriate to be supportive and say that I haven't had a breakdown because of all the hard work I have put into getting therapy to remain strong, studying Psychology and perhaps my resilience of character etcAny comments would be much appreciated as to my supposed friends latest comments.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 April 2011):
I admire you for all the work you've put in, OP, and you need to keep that up. But you're clearly not yet in the right place, and you're overlooking certain things.
Actually, your 'supposed' friends comment about luck is the least of your worries. That was a meaningless comment with no harm in it.
What is more worrying is the constant badgering about your moving in with him and all that stuff about sharing the mortgage with a friend. That sounds more like a rip-off.
I won't tell you what to do, because you have a better psychiatrist who can offer better advice. What I will say is go back to your psychiatrist and tell him what you've told us here. You'll get a good answer.
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