A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello aunts, its 3.30am here in england and my mobile is ringing over and over with texts and calls from my friends husband. His wife, one of my best friends is away in spain at the moment. Hes done this before, a few months ago. He made me swear id never tell her as she would be destroyed. She is reliant on him for her marrieage, job and home and i did keep quiet cos i didnt want her to be heartbroken. He fancies me really quite badly and i think hes one nasty sick man. I think she smells a rat and now i dont know what to do next. I never answer or reply by the way. What do you think i should do? I'm in bits about this it makes me feel sick. please advise x
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female
reader, Starlights +, writes (25 July 2009):
 if she suspects him and she directly asks u if something is goin on u shud tell her.
she is ur friend and regardless u have the duty to be honest with her.
her husband is a rat and ur being a great friend by not giving into him.
but your friend does deserve the right to know if she asks u.
record his msgs and calls to u as proof someday.
good luck!
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 Oh my, what a choice?I'm sorry this is happening to you. But he is playing on your friendship with his wife to continue to attempt this, with the unspoken blackmail. He is using you and thinks that since he assumes you will never tell her, that he can do this withoput any fear.I know this is agonizing, but you also realize that this will continue unless you take action. Since he thinks he has you over a barrel, his dumbass is too arrogant to never take into account that you may have copies of these texts and phone records.So you can threaten him that if this does not stop you will tell her. But he will be so arrogant he knows you wont.Don't accept this from anyone. PROVE THIS IDIOT WRONG!I am afraid that you will have to gets copies of everything and tell her. He has no fear of losing anything...People like this don't stop until they have actually lost something. You have the ability to teach this guy a lesson he will never forget. IF the shoe were on the other foot, would you want your friend letting you know this was going on if it was YOUR man doing it?Your other choice is ending your friendship with his wife, and changing your phone number...if it was not you he was calling it would be someone else and the wife would be in the same position...It will continue unless you stop it.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 Send him a message "It's 4.45 in the f*&^£$g morning. Leave me alone." Then turn your phone off.
Make sure that you keep all of those texts as they will help your friend out when it comes around to her divorce.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks baby duck, its 4.45am and my phone is still ringing. hes sending texts begging me to talk to him " just as a friend" and how much he needs to hear a friendly voice and "we all do crazy things like this sometimes dont we?" well, no we dont actually. I know that if i did phone him it wouldnt take long till he starts being sleazy, but he acts so innocent, calling on the pretext that he "doesnt feel well". I havent seen him for a couple of months now but i,ve seen his wife socially. After the last time he said he was mortified and had deleted my number. What a liar!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Avoid him. If he does it with you, he'll do it to you.
He is cheating on both of you - with both of you.
Seek out support for yourself. It may be a close friend, clergy, a trusted relative, or an inspirational book such as the Bible. An excellent source within the Bible is Proverbs. It helped me a great deal with my situation.
You can succeed! God Bless.
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