A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The first person I met in college has been one of my best friends for three years now. I have had feelings for him on and off through the years but never anything serious and I don't know if he's ever had feelings for me. Recently I felt very strongly for him despite the fact that we both were dating other people. One night we were drinking (a lot) and everyone kept asking us why we didn't date since we were such good friends and that we'd make a nice couple, he said to me that he knows we both have been wondering what it would be like for a long time and we ended up having REALLY awkward sex. The next day I asked him if we should talk about it and he said no that we should drop it so neither one of our significant others found out. My boyfriend and I broke up about a month later because we were having problems, and he continued to date his girlfriend for a while but eventually broke up with her a few months later. We didn't speak for months because I was so angry with him that he ditched our three year friendship over one drunken night and his girlfriend didn't like him talking to me. Eventually he called me and apologized several times for the way he treated me and by that time my feelings for him were gone anyway so we are friends again. He told my roommate he doesn't want to make that "mistake" again so he won't drink too much around me. He also told her that he knew I had always liked him despite the way he's treated me. (I know it sounds like I let him run all over me, but I'm a huge believer in forgiving and giving people more than one chance and I'm not one to hold a grudge if someone honestly apologizes which I believe he did) Everyone says they think he likes me except for my roommate and he has always protected me (before the incident and now again) like we were dating, but he says he only does it because I'm like his sister and he doesn't want anyone to hurt me. When he drinks he's really touchy feely on me, but never when we're sober. He loves my parents and I love his and mine also love him. I go out of town a lot and he says he misses me and loves hanging out with me so I'm getting really mixed signals! I'd like to know what you think because I need someone's honest advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): He really likes you. Guys generally like to do the right thing by people. In life it's how you play the game. When he and yourself were still with some-one, what happened was not the right timing. He felt awkward and apologetic. Yet he's tried to see what his feelings really are. But he backed off because of these circumstances. He also had cares for his partner and for yours. You've got to bring across to a guy respect for other people. The more you put yourself last, the more a guy sees you are a respectable person to others. His relationship was breaking down, so his mates probably said how about you too. He was seeing what it felt like with you but got put off because of the circumstances. If you can rectify this communicatively you may be in with a shot
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): hi..As for now you are very confused. the best advice I could give you is to speak to the person directly. Tell him that 'you love him' and wait for what he replies. Check him out. See that what he replies, does he just treat you as a friend or more than that. whatever happened between you was a mistake. But don't keep that mistake forward and consider it 'love'. As you have a long life to go ahead. If he still treats you a friend only, then you should move on. But don't try to be sticky to him or give him a chance and avoid that mistake which you both have made. Be practical and move on if he doesn't wants to get married to you. You will surely find your true mate in future. And if he is confused, then give him some time to think over the matter gain.
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