A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months now and we have been really close friends for 6 years prior to starting an actual relationship. I moved in with my boyfriend and his family two months into the relationship due my roommate not paying her portion of the rent. Everything was going great then we started fighting alot more. Recently after having sex we realized the condom had broke and he started freaking out and asking me if I would take the Plan B pill the next day. I am not a fan of the Plan B pill. Its a mental thing for me just because I am adopted and if my birth mother had taken the Plan B pill then I wouldn't have been born. So after much begging I finally gave in and agreed to take the pill. The next day I took it and spent the entire day feeling sick and miserable. Since then I have been thinking and feeling that there is something missing in our relationship. I have a 6 year old daughter who lives with her dad on the other side of the country and I haven't gotten to see her for almost 3 years. And then last year I got pregnant but I lost it because the baby's father abused me. I know I want another baby but don't think that my boyfriend does, and I don't know how to talk to him about how I feel without making him mad. Has anyone else on here been though this before? What did you do? Is there a way I can talk to him with out starting a fight?
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condom, moved in, roommate, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): You have only been going out for 4 months and living with him and his family for 2, even though you've known each other for 6 years. This 4 months is seeing what you both are like as a couple. You both have been fighting which may be normal as establishing each others boundaries and getting to know each other of certain things, or there may be problems. He lives with his parents and maybe he goaled to get more money first. This baby thing is way too soon and you are pushing him. Men are practical creatures usually and when you listen to them, they have a lot of logical things to say. In the past, they were the hunters and skilled in certain areas. We are the other side where we both add together our seperate abilities. Men really are worth listening too. They are not silly. Slow down and wait.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (16 August 2009):
What I'm a little confused on is the whole Plan B deal. All it is, is a high dosage of birth control. Using any form of contraceptive, including condoms would help eliminate the possibility of becoming pregnant. Plan B doesn't cause you to abort if that's what you're worried about, it just thickens the mucus so the sperm have a harder time getting to the egg.
I think you should worry about whether or not he wants to have children if you two were planning on getting married. He may want children SOMEDAY, but not now, which is a completely legitimate reason for him to worry about you becoming pregnant. I think you should talk to him about what he would want to happen if you did become pregnant. Obviously you would be against abortion and you would have the child. So he should know that that would be out of the question. But from what you have said about the relationship, you two probably shouldn't have children together anytime soon. So take the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy for now.
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