A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A friend of mine and I were debating over STD's. Her boyfriend has been cheating on her with at least 5 other women repeatedly, as well as still having sex with her. Although they've all been tested (her, her bf, and his other girls) , a different friend of mine told me that even if they are tested, if he goes around full circle, there is a huge risk of getting an STD. None of the women are cheating on this man. Is it possible that even though all of these people are tested negative, that my friend could get an STD?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): "None of the women are cheating on this man"
No, because it isn't cheating when they have sex with other people, this is a "non-monogamous" circle of sex partners.
Why do you think that the 5 women this man is having sex with wouldn't have sex with anyone else?
Really?
Why?
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (5 January 2011):
 Have you or your friend actually seen the official test results? STD's are embarassing, and a lot of people will lie about being tested - cheating boyfriends and loose women in particular. I'd be willing to bet good money at least one of them just "knows" she's clean despite her behavior, so she said she had been tested. I'd also be willing to bet the boyfriend only thinks he's exclusive with six women, but in fact other guys are there as well.
Seriously, do not rely on the honest reporting of this guy or any of these women. Demand to see the papers.
Tell everyone he's been with to stop seeing him, get tested for real, and go get a follow-up test as recommended by the doctor.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (5 January 2011):
 Well if they are having unprotected sex (i.e no condoms) there is always a chance someone could get an STD in a situation like this. Chances are, his 5+ other women have other partners too, and they may not be getting tested. Or these women may say they have been tested but they may not be telling the truth - you go get these tests done alone so no-one can ever guarantee that you are telling the truth and have actually been to get tested.
Plus HIV does not show up for at least 3 months after the unprotected sex occurred so you could get tested, it come back clear but then in a few months time you might actually be HIV positive.
And even if there are no STD's - there will be a huge risk that they are passing around the HPV virus which is the cause of cervical cancer, as well as genital warts. Everyone at some point in their lives will have the HPV virus as it is very common but there are over 100 strains of the virus therefore it is almost impossible to know which strain you are currently carrying. But Some types of HPV can cause changes in the cells of the cervix or the lining of the mouth and throat. They are known as high risk HPVs. Doctors call these changes in cells ‘dysplasia’. The changed cells have an increased risk of becoming cancerous.
It is widely known that the more sexual partners you have, and the younger you start having sex - the higher the risk of cervical cancer. So with these 5 or more women and the boyfriend passing HPV between them, and then onto your friend - she is really increasing her risk of getting one of the more damaging strains of HPV.
It is simply idiotic to have unprotected sex with a man who is cheating with 5 or more women - she is throwing her health away with no regard at all. God knows why she is still with a man who keeps cheating, but if she must stay with him then at least use a condom!
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