A
female
age
36-40,
*pn-jj
writes:Ok I am in a pickle at the moment!!...it started 5 years ago when I met this guy and instantly I liked him, unfortunately for me at this time I was kinda dating someone else (not seriously) so never persued him though also got the feeling he liked me back. A few months later this I bumped into this guy again, the other guy was off the scene so I was available. My best mate at the time was also single after breaking up with her ex so my other friend set these two up..i was gutted!!!!Since the two of them where getting on, and I was never sure whether he liked me or not, I moved on and forgot about him in that sense and we hung out as friends...until recently I had forgotten I'd ever fancied him and thought of him only as a friend. My best mate I have since found out has stabbed me in the back to other friends, lied to me and made me feel guilty when confronting her about it even though I know its the truth, to the point where I am avoiding her as she has upset me too much and I no longer consider her a friend.This weekend, her and her boyfriend had a huge row, he rang me in the early hours of the morning (which he has done a few times after they've rowed) and ended up coming round to mine with the mate that set them two up in the first place, he told me his gf (my so called friend) has been treating him like crap, to the point where she wont let him out of her sight, texts him constantly when there not together and has even accused him of fancying me...he has since said to me he wished he had gotten with me those 5 years ago.Since he said this my head has been cabbaged, all those feelings I had for him them years ago seem to have come back and I'm so confused, I would never do anything behind my "friends" back even though she's hurt me but can't help but wonder what could have happened with him, but I do honestly believe he doesn't mean it when he says that he wishs he was with me, I think he is just comparing me to her whilst she is treating him like dirt at the mo.Sorry this is so long but what do you think I should do? He is still texting me at the moment complaining about her as she is really putting him down at the moment and has accused him of trying to hit her. I dont want to get involved but do I carry on listening to him?? She has made him lose all his friends so he has no one to talk to but I am worried incase she finds out he's been ringing and texting me behind her back?!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): My advice:You have two possibilities. First, your friend who stabbed you in the back is more important to you, or two, this guy you've been crazy about is more important to you.If option one is true, tell the guy he's being innapropriate and it's not going to happen. Then talk to your friend, make up, and tell her her boyfriend's a scumbag.If option two is a go, tell the boy that if she's treating him like crap, he should dump her, then you will talk about you guys. But make sure he knows that he's not being fair to himself, your friend, or you by putting you in the position you're in.
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