A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met my ex thru a group of friends and when we broke up things ended quite badly because I confronted him of a big lie. The problem is that I have gotten so close with the rest of the group and he hasn't really but a couple of the group members still want to be friends with him. I don't know why they do because he never hangs out with them but I hang out and invite them to things all the time. The problem is that the ones that still like him are inviting both of us to things that I really want to go to such as bday parties and to play on a team for community sports. I've tried talking to the people and they just say they want to be friends with both of us. I've also tried emailing my ex as much as it hurts cuz he really did a bad thing and we aren't on speaking terms. I asked him to not join the activities we are both invited to since he doesn't live in the city and doesn't hang out with then anyways. He has his own friends and family here and I don't and most of the group don't care for him anymore. He won't respond to me and now I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 February 2013):
 I admire your pluck, I do't think I'd have this kind of nerve. So , because you broke up, even broke up badly,Ok ,-... now you get to direct his social life, to decide where he can go , what he can do, whom he can hang out with. And you wonder why he is not replying to you ; I guess, because he does not like to be bullied, and would not have anything polite to say to you.
Chill, and take a step back. As you said, he does not live in the city, does not hang out much with this people any more and wasn't crazy about them to begin with, so most probably will not show up. But if he wants to show up he has as much right as you have, you don't own the city, the group, the team or the friends. If you are so wary of meeting him, YOU can stay home. Or else, you can act as an adult , be civil and polite ( COLDLY polite if you wish ) and enjoy the outings without drama.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2013):
 In my opinion, you have no right to ask him not to attend events he is invited to by his friends. You also have no right to ask your friends to not invite him.
What you do is you go to the parties and events and you are cool and civil to him if he shows up.... be an adult.
adults do not have to be friends with their ex partners but being adult and civil when you run into them is the hallmark of maturity.
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