A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I recently started high school, and my best girl friends have found a few new friends. And I know we'll still be friends, but they've been kind of ignoring me now. For example, they went to the movies and didn't invite me. And instead of carpooling with me to go somewhere as we normall do, they told me they're doing it with their new friends. And I've made some new friends too, just not quite as close. Before it was just us three, and now it's kinda them and me. And before I was their best friend, and now they're kinda... drifting away. Please help me :/
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): I experienced this when I started high school too. My closest friends made new friends, and I felt a distance growing between us. I felt left out and sad, like I was losing them. I also felt very alone, because while they were making new friends and socialising fine, I wasn't. It took me a lot longer to make any new friends.
It is difficult at first, and it is actually very common and normal for this to happen. It is unpleasant though, I agree. Maybe you could try and explain to your friends how you are feeling. Is there any way you could all go out and do something together, to try and "re-bond"? Or if that doesn't work, maybe you could try talking to them individually, and try and spend time with them each on a one-to-one basis.
Unfortunately though, friendships do change a lot at high school. I know this must be really difficult right now, but things will change for you too. You must be feeling left out and left behind, but in time you too will make new friends, and become part of new groups. You said you have made some new friends, but not as close. Keep spending time with those new friends, and eventually you will become closer. Or, you will meet new people and make new connections. Everybody changes at different paces, and you will make new friends too.
It is always sad when our old friends move away. But it is a natural process. Try not to take it personally, if you can. Keep trying to get to know people, and it will happen. Things will settle down eventually. I hope everything goes well for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): While someone always feels left out in a group of 3, the good news is that it won’t always be you. Sometimes, you’ll be the one who’s closer to the other girl. You're all adjusting to high school life and people deal with their feelings in different ways. There are also intense emotions that come along with growing up and hormones are flowing, so things are bound to get crazy at times.
You're hurting now and it's not fair that they don't include you in their plans, but distract yourself by working on a hobby of yours, writing in a journal, dancing, listening to music or whatever makes you happy and at peace with yourself.
Your two friends are bound to get sick of one another and will be running back to you, asking you to hang out. But in the mean time, focus on other friendships. Branch out and talk to the quiet girl who is sitting by herself- she may even be going through the same thing! Find a club or activity that interests you. If your school has one, the theater group always needs volunteers to work on "crew"- where you set up and design things for productions. You'll work with a group of people, spending time with them leading to getting to know them which means meeting new people and yes, even making friends!
Hang in there and keep your head up high. Meet others and get to know them- before you know it, you'll have a lot of new friends! All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): Some friendships are stronger than others. If your old frienships are drifting apart and your efforts to keep the friend flame alive does not meet with success, and you are feeling a hole in your life, there are plenty of other friend-fish in the sea to fill the gap. That is the conclusion I have come to in my life. I am 28 years old, btw.
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A
female
reader, Imnot +, writes (12 September 2010):
 I understand what your going throw...
All you can do is just try to let them know your felling left out and see where it takes you from there.
Or you can do what I did and just move on and make new friends and grow a close friendship with them... This may sound harsh but things like this happen ppl can change faster than anything... soooo best luck and hope you feel better and my advice works..:)
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