A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My friend has been seeing a man she met online a few month ago. She knows hes still on the dating site and he knows she came off as soon as she met him. They have both been very open and honest with each other. He knows she wants a relationship but he doesnt know what he wants. She has very strong feelings for him but he said he just likes her as a friend. Shes hoping he will change his mind. They see each other a couple of times a week and are always talking. He always makes the first move when they are together. She said they havent gone all the way and thinks hes stopping that from happening because he will get some feelings for her. His ex treated him badly and he said he doesnt want to get hurt. They both want the same thing out of life but doesnt understand why he wont take a chance with her. He obvious is not using her for sex as they havent done it but why would he always spend so much time with her and do so much together if he didnt have some kind of romantic feelings for her. but he wont do it , im running out of advice for her. Should she cut him out of her life , ask him for a chance to see where things could go , keep the friendship as online and not meet up ( it always ends the same with them together) they dont have mutual friends so if it all ended theres no awkwardness with friends. His best friend said either make a go of it or cut her out of his life its not fair on her. hes now told her he wants a few weeks of no talking . i dont think thats a good idea .she was crying about it but didnt tell him. she cant turn her feelings off for him and shes heartbroken hes suggested the 'break'
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (3 March 2019):
 Absolutely she should cut ties.
He can’t be more clear than saying he sees her as a friend. That’s the universal phrase for ‘I don’t want anything serious’.
The whole point of a relationship is to take a chance with someone and put the trust in them that they won’t hurt you. If they aren’t willing to take that chance then you’re wasting your time. It’s selfish of him to keep her around when he doesn’t want a relationship when he knows your friend does. That in itself shows a lot about his character.
The longer your friend speaks to this guy the more it will hurt when she finally pulls away.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 March 2019):
 She should let him go.
She isn't looking for a friend and she doesn't WANT him as a friend so again, let him go and BLOCK him.
If a GUY goes on dating sites, but "doesn't know what he wants" then one thing is a given, HE DOESN'T WANT HER. And he probably isn't playing with an "open deck". With that I mean he might NOT be single.
He wants a few weeks of not talking. Again, I'd say give him that but don't make it a "few weeks" make it permanent. For someone to be THIS "scared" or "unsure" it's JUST not a good sign of what is to come.
SHE is WASTING her time, energy and emotions on a guy who ins't INTO her.
As for WHY he wants to talk and hang out, well he might be lonely. And talking to someone isn't exactly investing a lot of anything into another person and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean he likes her in a romantic sense. She is just entertainment for him.
If it were my friend I'd tell her that 1. SHE deserves more. 2. if a guy ins't jumping to see where things go he probably isn't all that keen and 3. she needs to stop letting some guy waste her time.
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