A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Has any one had this problem.I was spending time with a friend just a friend we went to a casino then instead of going home we went to a hotel because its a two hour drive back to where we live, and we where both tired well i was.so at the hotel we got one room its cheaper but there was only one bed to. we slept in the bed because where just friends and where grown so its not a big deal.But my friend started getting frisky. she even kissed me. well things progressed till i fingered her then she told me she wanted me in her i was down for that too exept i really didnt want to have sex i wasnt in the mood. i only fingered her because i was curious never did it before.well finnaly she convinced me and hmm i tried to have sex with her. I couldnt seem to get it in the hole i found the hole had my thumb in it but tried to line things up so i can get something else in i couldnt do it i told her to help me out and she said a man should kno how to do it. i tried again she didnt help so i told her i give up i fingered her again she seemed satisfied and fell asleep.i wasnt disappointed that i couldnt do it or didnt i was just surprised a how difficult it was ive watched some porn and they just slip it rite in with no effort half the time. My question s how hard do you have to be for sex.and can the hole be to small. why would i have that much difficulty i even had trouble getting my finger in at first and she said 2 fingers hurt. oh and should the lights be on do you need to see it to do it. she turned the lights out.and yes im a virgin my friend knows this so i dont see why she didnt help me if she wanted to have sex. i didnt come on to her or anything she initiated everything ive know her for 15 yrs and though i find her attractive i didnt want to have sex with her.Its funny because i always thought sex would be really gross and it kinda was as far as i got atleast it was wierd and the whole wet hole thing kinda disturbs me. oh one more question whats the wet stuff it was all over my hand when i was done and whats it supposed to smell like? thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): If you didn't want to have sex with her you shouldn't have been trying to. It doesn't sound like you really wanted to, maybe you were jut curious about sex and she was willing, but you should wait to have sex with someone you actually want to have sex with. And yes she was a little inconsiderate about the way she treated you when you were having trouble, she should know her body and she could have helped you. It kind of sounds to me like she is also a virgin? If not maybe she just doesn't have that much experience. Either way if you can barely get in a finger or two without it hurting her then of course it's going to be hard to get your penis in. And yes you have to be hard to get it in. No the hole isn't usually too small it can stretch to accommodate a baby so a penis can usually fit, sometimes it just takes a little more work. You don't need the lights on to see what you're doing but you should be familiar with each others bodies and it seems that you are not. That's not bad, there is nothing wrong with that, but you say this was your first time fingering a girl. I think you're going too fast, don't try to get everything done in one night. I suggest you find a girl you're actually interested in and spend some time getting to know her and her body and then just let things naturally progress. Oh and by the way... most of what you see in porn is fake...of course it looks easy for them they do that for a living, they are very experienced and even if they're in pain they won't show it so don't base your whole knowledge of what sex should be like on porn or you'll be highly disappointed. The whole "wet hole thing" hmm this almost concerns me...you do know that a woman has to be wet in order to have sex right? If not it will hurt her badly! I'm not surprised that you find it gross, that's most likely because you're unfamiliar with it. That wet stuff that was on your hand is her bodies natural lubricant, it will smell different, hard to explain, but it should not smell like fish.
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A
female
reader, lady grey  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 You say you didnt want to have sex with her and you find it off putting. you also asked how hard you need to be. This all seems to suggest you couldnt have sex because you didn't really want to. First of all you need to be fully erect to 'get it in'. The womans vagina is unlikely to be too small, but it sounds like she wasnt fully turned on if she felt too tight. Vaginas are supposed to be wet, thats what was on your hand.
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