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Four years of separation, and he says he's ready to give our marriage another go, but he has a pregnant girlfriend!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have been separated from my husband for 4 and a half years. In this time he has bought a house wth his fiancee of 2 years, both the joint purchase and engagement I found out accidentally!!!

I have always asked if he is engaged as he wears a ring on that finger. His reply is to say he misses our wedding ring, so he wears this one! My husband tells me frequently that he wants to come home and be with our son and I, but I also have recently discovered she was pregnant, but had an abortion.

Before all this information came to light, I had told him I would give our marraige another go and he had 5 weeks to decide whether he wanted the same. He jumped at the chance and told me that he wanted us to have another baby. He doesn't know I know all his little secrets but I'm hurt he is engaged and got the poor girl pregnant, whilst for the last 2 years I have been asking for an amicable divorce.

I'm unsure how to proceed now. Please give me your opinion.

View related questions: abortion, divorce, engaged, fiance, wedding

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A female reader, PrunellaGringepith +, writes (10 April 2006):

PrunellaGringepith agony auntFour years is a long time to be separated, and both have you have probably changed...but by the sound of it any changes on his part haven't been much for the better.

Sounds like maybe things are getting a little rocky with this fiancee of his and he is beginning to think that maybe he wasn't so bad off with you after all. Is this a good enough reason to take him back?

As willywombat said he is still hiding the truth from you, even though you may feel it would be best for your son to have him around, this alone is not a good enough reason to let him back into your life. It is so often so hard to say no to someone you have obviously cared about for a long time, but I hope that you do, this situation only soundslike heartbreak around the corner.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (9 April 2006):

willywombat agony auntWhat an absolute delight your ex sounds like! Do you really want to get back with someone who can lie so easily and glibly? He hasnt even told you the truth himself like a man should- you have had to find it out for yourself. Please don't go there. This will cause you untold and numerous hurts in the years to come if you do.

He got engaged to another woman whilst still married to you, does this guy never finish anything properly?

I feel for you and your son. But I feel for this girl as well. You can bet your bottom dollar she knows nothing about his plans either.

Please think long and hard about this. I am hoping you will not do it, go for the divorce and start your life afresh away from his manipulations and lies.

Sweetheart I wish you all the luck in the world.

x

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