| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been married for a year and a half. Today I was looking for some bank info and stumbled across naked photos of my husband's ex-girlfriend. I know they are old, but why is he keeping them?The worst part is, she's a lot more attractive than I am, you know the type, thin, rich, blonde, tan. I couldn't be more different -- pale, pudgy, etc.Now he's told me in the past that he married me, not her, for a reason. And it's true -- she was heavily into drugs and very irresponsible -- but that doesn't mean he'd wouldn't rather be with her physically. I know marriage is about more than sex, but what do I do when it feels like I'm not good enough to satisfy him?
View related questions:
drugs, ex girlfriend, his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (14 March 2006):
 You're correct. He did marry you for a reason. He loves you !! Sure, she might be physically more beautiful. So what? She probably always was and might always be. What does that tell you about your man? He picked you, right?
If you're not happy about being chubby, lose weight. If you want a tan, get one of those too. If you think she's beautiful, chances are he does too. Again, so what, he picked you. Who wants to be with a really hot irresponsible, drug addict? Look at all the beautiful Hollywood types. Have you ever seen a group of people with lives so messed up. They may be rich and famous but you have to really look hard to find happily married stars. Looks are just that. They are only skin deep. All the things you find attractive about that other woman are things you could have for yourself if you choose to. They won't make you superior though. You might be more attractive or in better shape, physically. Maybe you just need to get energized. Build some self esteem.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (14 March 2006):
 I used to have loads of photos of ex boyfriends and yes some of them were naked, since moving I found them again and destroyed them, I just dont have the room for them or the need for them.
Some of them were over 20 years old and I had forgot I had them, when I found them I had a look and a laugh and destroyed them.
I bet he does not even remember he has them, tell him you dont like them and ask him to destroy them if they bother you this much.
One other thought is that she may not know or has forgotton he still has them and may not be pleased if she knew, im sure some of the blokes I had pics of would not be pleased to know I still had photos of them lying around, and I would not like it if blokes partners found pics of me naked (what an awful thought).
...............................
A
male
reader, d4u04 +, writes (14 March 2006):
 I think you are reading more into this than there actually is. I know this won't happen overnight but you need to get over your inferiority complex, he said he married you for a reason and did you think that reason could be that he loves you and wants to be with you? Not because all of the negatives things you said about his ex. Unless he actually says something like he would rather be with her physically then please don't let this ruin what seems like a good relationship because of unjustified paranoia.
I hope it works out for you honey
...............................
|
