A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid, All my life I've been unlucky with love until my current boyfriend and I started dating. Everything was going great and he helped me improve my sels-esteem. I was very depressed before him and I've been really happy for the past basically 2 years I've been with him. Yesterday while doing his laundry I found a condom inside of the washing machine tangled in his clothes. Normally when I do laundry I always check the machines b4 loading clothes but is it possible that the condom was there b4? My heart broke almost instantly afte my period of brief denial concluded. I couldn't even talk 2 him I just threw it @ him along with his keys and change and walked out, he tried to call me but I cursed him out and hung up. Later on we talked and made up because he swore it wasn't his. And I @ 1st I believed him but now I have doubts. He never lets me see his phone EVER! He looks @ other girls when he's with me too even though he thinks I don't see. I don't think I trust him. I don't know what to do. This happened yesterday and I haven't slept and my appetite is gone. I feel really depressed
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): He could be telling the truth. Since you really have no proof that it wasn't in the machine before you put the clothes in, I think you have no choice but to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Having said that...I also feel you have to have a serious talk about trust issues. Express your feelings that he is hiding things from you such as never letting you see his phone. If he wants you to trust him, he has to be TRUSTWORTHY! Don't let this fester inside you. Communicate your feelings to him ASAP! If he is willing to work on the trust issues, give it a try. If you feel he has no interest in working things out, perhaps you should move on!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, bd2009 +, writes (12 March 2009):
also go with your gut feelng.
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A
female
reader, bd2009 +, writes (12 March 2009):
yea. most likely hes cheating on you. I've been through this. jumpy phone habits is one sign, also there's no reason to lock the phone if he has nothing to hide. the depression only last a few day. you don't want to eat anything. all you want to is stay in bed, not talk to anyone and be left alone. the fact is no guy is worth letting yourself go to shit . you deserve better. hes not worth your time. you don't need some guy next to you to feel better about yourself. you need to like yourself, love and respect yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): It is possible that the condom was already in the machine. But if you are having doubts then after you cool off you need to sit down and tell him of your fears. Tell him how you feel and what you are worried about. If he is lying or covering up, you will be able to tell. Make an informed decision before you do anything drastic.
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