| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My friendships never work out. Particularly with women. One minute I think I have a good friend, I invest time into being with her, but she turns out to be a horrible person and somehow hurts me. For some reason, I attract bad seeds. My last friend was a drug addict who cheated on her boyfriend (I dumped her), my other friend was a fake sorority girl (dumped her). I am a nice person but I do admit I have my flaws too, one of them being that I'm too picky about people. I don't trust a lot of people and can count my close friends on one hand. I am quick to judge. But I tried to change that this year and I befriended a girl I normally couldn't see myself being friends with (she was a lesbian, though that didn't bother me). Well needless to say, it didn't work and she turned out to be possessive and controlling. I befriended another girl and she turned out to be conniving and jealous. In high school, I couldn't keep a single friend because they would talk behind my back and flirt with my boyfriends (they were a close-knit group of girls). I remember myself always being an outsider, always being different, into my own thing, more self-sufficient...and that doesn't bother me. But I WANT a girl friend. I've made a few but don't ever have the desire to hang out with them and constantly make excuses not to. What is wrong with me?? Why don't I feel in need of socialization? My boyfriend of 2 years is my best friend but I know I need a female best friend as well so all my eggs aren't in one basket. What can I do? I'm in college full time, but usually am very quiet and don't socialize. I'm not involved because I don't have loads of confidence and stupidly think that I'm being judged and scrutinized and laughed at. What can I do? :( Can I ever overcome the traumas of high school? I'm still terrified of ever running into old friends.
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best friend, confidence, flirt, jealous, lesbian Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Hi. Someone famously said, "You don't find friends, you recognize them". Patience is required when dealing with people... don't get attached too quickly to people. Take your time to get to know them. Be relaxed, be yourself, think positively (not that people are making fun of you)... and the rest will follow. Good luck xx
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Best suggestion that I can offer is for you to spend more time attending to your studies and not worry about the women that you pursue and/or spend time with....
Good luck....
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