A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 22 year old guy, I have a normal social circle of friends, and am usually very active. I have never had that much confidence when it came to people of the opposite sex, however I get along with all my friends girlfriends, so I do believe it's just that I'm bad at making good first impressions. I, like most guys, get nervous when first getting to know or talking with a new girl, but for me it's different. I have tourettes, and when nervous or stressed I tend to get a lot of facial tics. These tics bother the hell out of me, are uncontrollable, and destroy all my confidence when talking that I usually try to be as brief as possible because the more nervous I get the more I'll tic.I know how to hold a conversation, be funny, and talk with people. But my question is, if you're a girl and your talking with a guy you just met and all of a sudden he starts to tic (blinking, and other common tourettes tics), what would your honest opinion be?PS - I don't get out of control with the tics, but it does happen and it is likely obvious that it's happening.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): Thanks anon.Interesting answer even if wasn't the most flattering. :)Good luck.-mishmash
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers so far. I do like the idea of using them as an ice breaker. It isn't something that affects my life, just my confidence when it comes to meeting girls, and talking about it is something I might try. I would never use the word "tourettes" though, that word has such a stigma attached to it that I don't want to have to explain everything about it. But I would hope they would understand what a nervous tic is.
And mishmash, this probably isn't the answer you want to hear, I do know other people calm their tics in different ways, so this may not be true for everyone. But when I talk to someone and have eye contact during the conversation, I try to maintain the eye contact for as long as I can, I do not tic when I'm looking into someones eyes. I'm not sure if it's just because I lock down my tics to avoid them when I know I'm being looked at, or if it's because I'm engaged in the conversation and my brain is too busy to tell myself to tic.
But like I said, I've read of many different ways that people deal with tics. For example, I know some argue that marijuana helps with tics, I refuse to smoke marijuana because it would make me tic like crazy, and also because I'm no longer in high school lol. But I've never heard of looking away from someone being a way to deal with tics, sorry for that answer. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2011): This has happened to me before. I think. My initial reaction was that there might be something wrong with him medically or he had something in his eye. I asked him "are you all right?" I felt like he didn't want to talk to me or be seen at all. He seemed embarassed. I put it together after the fact that he might have a tic.I do wish though he had told me and had perhaps been a bit more open about it. I know it would probably be irritating to have to explain it to every girl you meet repeatedly, but if you just say, "Oh, that's my tourettes" then they will probably relax and you will also probably relax a little and the tic may ease.Maybe you can answer my question? I liked this guy with the tic (I think) and we went on a couple dates. During the dates he would talk to me but he kept looking beyond me, like his eyes would never focus on my face, but at some spot near my ear. Is that something people with tourettes and eye tics commonly do? I really liked this guy and the way he thought about things, but little things like this really put me off because I didn't know where they were coming from. At times he seemed very guarded for no apparent reason. I interpretted that he was just not interested in me. After the eye tic incident, he even avoided me for a while. We haven't had a date since. Very curious, please feel free to PM me.
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female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Have you ever thought of using the fact that you have these tics as an ice breaker? A girl is less likely to run for the hills if she knows about it, rather than sit and wonder why you are twitching all the time.
Make a joke of it, and say that it only happens when you feel shy around someone, then go all coy, guarenteed she will crack a smile and assure you not to be shy. Once you realise that you are not so nervous anymore, the tics will be less frequent, and you can get on with holding some good conversation with her!
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (15 January 2011):
 Have you ever thought of doing some research and finding others with tourettes on the internet. There could be a group for you to join, exchange stories etc. You should see if you can find some of our episodes of Big Brother. Peter who won it had tourettes and he won the hearts of the nation. He laughed at himself some days and really we all accepted the tourettes and loved his personality and was able to look through it and not be embarrassed for him whenever he struggled. He even found words in place of swear words which was really good because it took effort from him. Anyway you try and see some of those and find other people going through the same as you for support. At the end of the day you will grow on someone and then the rest will come naturally.
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