A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know what I want help with, but I can't find the words. will try.My boyfriend and I broke up twice. The first time I broke up with him because he was chatting to his ex girlfriend who works with me sometimes.The second break up was mutual. I flirted with other guys at the bar in front of him which made him upset. I believed he would like me more if he saw other guys who liked me. Moreover, I did it because I was hurting. He wanted me to be cool with him being friends with his ex. I could not. Now, when I tried to make up with him and get back together... he says he still loves me but thinks it's better to be apart. thanks
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male
reader, Odds  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 "I believed he would like me more if he saw other guys who liked me."
I've known a lot of girls who, despite everything they say, actually get very attached to guys who openly flirt with other girls in front of them - so long as he turns the other girls down in the end. Guys do not work that way, except for the rare cuckold fetishists. Even seeing another guy hit on you, then you instantly telling him to buzz off, gets us angry - though in that situation, most of us would know to keep quiet about it. In the future, avoid doing this.
"He wanted me to be cool with him being friends with his ex."
This was an unreasonable request. He should not expect you to accept his friendship with an ex. However, the correct response when this request is refused is to break up, not to try and screw with his head.
You've already broken up twice. I'm not sure if you're asking for a way to get back with him, or for an explanation of why things went the way they did, but I don't think this relationship has a future. Learn what you can from it and move on.
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Relationships can be volitile especially at your age. Jealousy is prevalent before trust can set in and you two are not helping to nuture trust. you are a brave girl flirting at the bar with men to get his attention. Not only that a lot of young men start really horrendous fights when theyve been drinking, usually over a woman so you were putting yourselves at that risk as well. If you do get back try to let him know you only have eyes for him.
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