A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Not exactly a relationhsip question, but I am having a problem with my flatmate. She is a really good friend of mine, and we have lived together before, but for the last few months she has done nothing but complain constantly, about everything. She is always in a bad mood, and complains that she is tired, or isn't feeling well, that she had a bad day, or that shes getting sick. at first me and the other flatmates were sympathetic/encouraging, and listened to her or suggested that she should go see her doctor (who told her she was fine) but she hasn't done anything to improve her health or her attitude, and continues to complain. now I cant handle it anymore. what is the best way to deal with this situation?
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male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 she sounds depressed, its not your job to fix her. ask her is she happy or enjoying life and then ask her when she last enjoyed it. ask her if she wants to enjoy life? if so look into counselling and therapy.
there could be some major aspect of her life that is getting her down and she is blaming everything but it. has she a relationship? has she a job she likes? is she getting the sleep she needs? is her family relationships good?
many reasons, look deeper but if you have to listen to it too much just get out of the flat or distract yourself. play music so you don't have to listen to her. some form of pleasant distractions. take her out somewhere to distract and entertain her.
sometimes young people 15-25 often fail to understand why they feel how they do and how to solve it. avoiding the blues is a lifelong skill you need to hone.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (4 August 2011):
 What a tiring person to live with.
You need to look after you, so that she does not drag you down to her level.
She may be depressed but you cannot make her go to the Doctor and you have already tried that.
And moving out still costs you money and where you live may be too convenient to even think of leaving there.
Brighten up you own space. Minimise your time with her when she is grumpy. Give her lovely praise when she is positive (rare occasions obviously).
And you may like to read the following, in case it helps
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tunnel-vision-positive-thinking---used-to.html
It is not going to be easy for you,
Regards
Abella
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