A
female
age
30-35,
*low
writes:Hi, it's been a while.I have been with the same guy for going on five years now... In those five years we have split up (once) for a period of about three months. We have been back together since last October, so for about a year now...That being said- it has been five years. This is the longest relationship I have ever been in... So I'm not quite sure about how I've been feeling lately.It all started when this new young man started talking to me. In my head I knew he was attractive, I've known of him since high school.He comes out and tells me that he's been attracted to me since my senior year.Ever since this happened, I've been questioning where I stand in my relationship with my current boyfriend... I have been over-analyzing every action he makes, every comment he says. I have even been delving back into our past arguments or issues to critique the integrity of our relationships.I'm beginning to ask myself bigger questions.Like... "Is this who I want to spend the rest of my life with?"I know that it's natural to lose that initial butterfly feeling.And this new guy is tempting every vulnerable aspect of my affections...But at the same time... I have been with my boyfriend for FIVE years.I have built a relationship with his family.My mother loves him.I'm not saying that I want to throw away a long investment of my time and love over some guy who just walks into my life...But at the same time he has made me think...Do I want this?Is this who I want?Is this REALLY who I want.Anyone in a long-term relationship ever gone through this?How do I know if I've chosen the right person?Should I even be questioning this if I were really still in love with him?Am I just staying because I'm afraid of winding up alone...?Any advice... if you have questions I would be happy to elaborate but for now, I'll leave it here.
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female
reader, blow +, writes (19 December 2015):
blow is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it, and you were absolutely right. I love my boyfriend a lot... And there was a reason I went back. I'm glad I'm still with him. :)
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 October 2015):
 You know, old flames/crushes always turn up in your life to test your strength of your relationship. Your three month separation made you reflect and at the end you chose him again. That alone says something. In order for the future to work you have to enjoy the present moment too. There will be ups and downs in life but the success of the relationship is an accumulation of mostly happy todays in between some sad yesterdays. I think you should stop talking to the school crush and focus on your own relationship. Picking a good person is important, such as he has no bad habits, he's loyal and you have good chemistry but a big part of it is working as a team and adjusting to your differences, and aging gracefully together. Having these questions is normal and shows you are serious about big decisions in life.
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