A
female
age
30-35,
*ealityanddreams
writes:I'm currently feeling very confused now.I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 8 months. In our relationship, things happened too fast in the beginning. We made out before we even got together. I didnt exactly ask her to be my girlfriend, but she mentioned something about getting together so we just decided a date and it becomes official.We actually started talking in Dec 2009 and we talked everyday till now. I realised our days were so much better during our first few months being together.There's this junior girl of mine who got along well with me at the start of last year. She will text me randomly for almost everyday, contents were normal, nothing about love. During March last year, I asked her along for a trip with two other friends. In May before our mid-year exams we went studying overnight with a mutual friend but after which only both of us went studying overnight. When we study in school she would sit with me at one table while her clique sits at the other. I would ask her out for dinner after training. I caught her looking at my directions during Physical lessons for a few times. And now then I realised she was always steady to outings and such. We are always partners during training, every single sessions. She would always rant to me after trainings. I continued to go for training because she asked me to stay and I was glad to do so as i have such a great junior, we talk about everything except for love. Until like months ago, she needed calculator and I initiated to lend her my ipod (The screen pic was taken with my girlfriend.) Afterwhich I realised she stopped talking to me as often. At that point of time, I didnt have any special feelings for her but I'm just happy whenever we text.After our one month exam break from training, we stopped partnering each other, I dont know why either, maybe I saw her partnering another person so from then onwards I will always find others.Now, because I'm not in school anymore, I texted her if she needs help for the preparation for cca trials but she didn't specifically answer if she needs help and nowadays her replies are so short, the kind which you can't reply back for a conversation.First, what should I do with my current relationship? I do love her, but not the same as before. Maybe her daily moodswings caused me to lose patience sometimes. I feel very much pressurized when she mentions about living together in future/ cant live without me/ love me with all her heart.I dreamt about this junior for 3 days and it got me confused! Do I really feel for her? Did she use to fall for me? And she has gotten over me now?So sorry for the ultimate long post!
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female
reader, raiders  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 She has made no contact so my guess is that she has lost interest in you. I think you should let it be and don't pursude this chick or any other until your relationship with your girlfriend is recatergorize to single.
A
female
reader, realityanddreams +, writes (2 February 2011):
realityanddreams is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi raiders, thanks a lot for your advice. I will definitely take note of that.
Hi chlp01, thanks for sharing.
First of all, this is my second relationship.
My first relationship didnt end good. We were together for 17 months and she broke up with me and it led me to mild depression and I took at least 8 months to get over her, like totally over that we're like strangers now. It's really rare to see someone at the age of 16 taking such a long time to get over a relationship so I do find myself foolish at that time. I swore like crazy saying that I will never date someone with taurus star sign anymore. And ironically, my current girlfriend is a taurian.
Today, I had a bad day with my girlfriend. She asked me if I'm sure that I want to be with her and this isnt the first time she's asking me that. My usual answers were, why not? And today I didnt but said, why are you always asking me this question? After which she apologised for all the hard times that she has given me, and said that she's very sure that she just wants me to be part of her life. I couldnt bear to say anything else.
Anyway, do you think that the other girl still feel something for me? I dont know why but I thought of such stuffs which couldnt give me a definite answer. But on the other hand, she doesnt talk to me online/facebook/text, so i guess she doesnt feel anything anymore?
By the way, I always wanted to know the possibility of this 'incident'. I had this eye candy two years back in school. She's a year older. I used to see her everyday in school, but we didnt know each other.
It was like a love at first sight thing, funny but yeah. We had eye contacts everyday, and I was always the one looking away first. I tend to see her passing by wherever I was at. At times, not only her, but her friends were looking too. I once saw her skipping past me while her friends were giggling. Then, my friends encouraged me to add her up on facebook. I did, she accepted but deleted after that. I was really puzzled and I still had eye contacts with her in school after that. What are the possibilities do you think of this?
(Just wanted to know even though I'm not bothered by it anymore.)
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (1 February 2011):
Well your reality is your now girlfriend and before you try anything with anyone else you have to defind to yourself what your girlfriend means to you.
You should not try to start a new relationship when you and your heart belongs to another.
Your junior partner saw that you were in a relationship and therefore off limits, and you have to leave it at that because you can't prusude a new relationship while your still involve with your girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, ch1p01 +, writes (1 February 2011):
 Well buddy, sounds a lot like my last relationship, except you dont appear to be fighting like we did. I sounds like this is your first relationship? Mine started like that one sec we were friends then we were making out the next, litteraly. I would suggest that if you really dont feel like you can be with her because she is driving you crazy, then break it off. But make sure you try talking about how you feel her mood swings and other stuff gets too you. My ex had horrible negative swings and always tried to change me to fit her, so even after we talked she didn't stop or try to view the world positively so i ended it. There is a big, but not always recognized difference between loving someone and being 'in love' with someone. You love her, but are you in love with her. Talk thing out with her first but if you still seem to be drifting away, then its only polite to end it officially.
As for the other girl. It seems as if she had a thing for you. You always being with her and helping her probably made her feel that you liked her. She doesn't respond to you that often now because she saw that you were taken. I dreamed about a girl I know like that near the end of my relationship and it confused me too. It is probably your sub conscious trying to justify any thoughts of leaving your current. It turned out for me that I really do have quite strong feelings for this other girl, but it took a few months after the breakup to figure that out. If you do split, wait 2 or so months to let your feelings and thought clear so you know what feelings are genuine. If you still feel for this other girl, then facebook her or text or whatever and just hint that your single. Say something likes its been I while since we have talked, wanna get coffee or lunch. Take it from there.
First thing first. Work on your current relationship, and if its clear that its falling apart, do the right thing for both of you and end it. And if you do, dont mention other women to her.
best of luck. post back with any more questions
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