A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19. My gf is 16. Recently she came to visit me from another town.We petted since her arrival. One morning early,while my parents were out for a while, she was still in her nightie and we were we were kissing, I pulled her panties down. She was wet and I penetrated her about 2 inches.I soon wanted to come and I withdrew and ejaculated at the entrance. We then cleaned up and got dressed.I think she wasn't quite ready for this and gave in to me. I feel bad, also because of the rush I did not pleasure her or give her after care. She isn't pregnant.How should I have handled the situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): I think speak to your girlfriend and if you do have sex again make it more special. Bedroom, candles, music, nice duvet covers etc and most importantly protection! Do stuf that will make you both feel at ease like cuddling before you go into it and after. Show her that your not just after sex and that you do really like her.
Has your girlfriend showed any indications that she wasnt ready or that she didnt enjoy it? I think the best thing to do would be to speak to your girlfriend as thats the only way your going to get answers.
A
female
reader, growing  +, writes (7 May 2008):
 Well now you are over with that scene.Make sure the next time you two hit each other,it should make her feel like a princess.this relationship is not just about sex, feelings are involved here.so it demands after cuddling.though it didn't go well in the first attempt but its not something big.95%times,first time happens just by chance and not with plannig.both of you are quite young to be expert in this area.
just cool down and next time go with a plan.atleast your parents should not come into the picture before you are done with your cuddling and pampering.
best of luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): Make it up too her next time! show her you are a good lover. actions speak louder than words
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A
male
reader, texpsych  +, writes (7 May 2008):
She may or may not have been ready. She's 16, so hasn't exactly matured emotionally enough to really think things through. The only way you'll really know the answer to any of your questions is to ask her. Honest and open communication is the only way to really know anything about someone else. Just remember when you do talk to her, she's 16. There's light years of difference between 19 and 16 emotionally and sexually.As far as your performance anxiety, it happens. Especially if you haven't had sex for a while. I'm not sure what "after-care" is. I'm guessing you mean compassion. Once again, you would be well served by discussing this with the very young lady.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): You sound so matter of fact.
Maybe next time add some emotions, affection and communication to your time together.
Take things slowly. If you feel like you handled the situation badly then tell yourself for next time that you will avoid penetration. When people get that far things always seem a lot more serious, as you've found out. All any of us can do is learn from the things we do so that when we're next in that situation we act differently.
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