A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hia,Me and my boyfriend have been going out for just over 2 weeks. He's much more experianced than me (He's 15, and I'm 13). The other day he asked me if I would give him a hand job (wank him off), and I said yes. He's coming over my house on Tuesday. But I don't know if I want to any more. Does this mean that I don't want to be with him any more? What do I say to him, because on Tuesday, it'll be awkward if I tell him no?Please help.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (6 July 2006):
 My dear you are but a CHILD. And as for your boyfriend being more experienced, he is a child too and has no right being experienced in sexual matters. Listen to me, if you are not comfortable with doing something DONT DO IT. If he is that much of a loser that he will be upset if you say no, leave him, you are too young to be in a relationship anyway, emotionally and physically you are not mature for sex or sexual experiences. Take care. xXx
A
female
reader, sammie +, writes (6 July 2006):
 well hunni i think that 13 is a very young age and if you dont feel ready to do that then dont do it and he should respect that if it feels right go for it but any thoughts on not wanting to then that means you are not ready it doesnt mean you dont like him no more its just that yo are not ready to move to the next step i think that when he comes over just dont think about it or say anything about it and then maybe he wont say anything and it will be forgotten and if he does ask for it you can either say to him i am just not ready to move to the next step yet he should understand or if you dont want to talk about it just do something else to act as if you didnt hear him and move on hope this helps hunni samx
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (6 July 2006):
 If you dont want to do something dont do it... Your only 13 and you shouldnt be thinking about any form of sex.. I also suggest reading Yos's post as it is totally on the mark!
Your not ready for the responsibilty of sex, so dont start it, and dont do anything thats not what you want. Lots of time later to be thinking of boyfriends and sex, if this guy just wants it his way, and throws a wobbly, then you know to tell him to leave, he needs to put your feelings first and respect for someone goes along way.
Take care x
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 Yay, Yos!
Anon 13-yo female, please listen to Yos. Those would have been my exact words to you.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 He is your boyfriend.
The number one duty of a boyfriend is to be REALLY NICE to you. That is more important than getting hand-jobs! That means that if you don't want sex (and a hand job is a form of sex), he should respect you and what you want.
You should have sex, or sexual contact, ONLY when you feel you want it. Not before. If you do it before, you'll likely really really regret it! You'll really wish you hadn't afterwards.
Also remember he is very capable of giving himself a hand-job any time he likes. I probably does at least once a day in fact.
It doesn't mean you don't want to be with him. He can be your boyfriend and the two of you can be together without sex. Its the most popular hobby of most teenage boys ;)
One other thing. You should watch how he reacts when you tell him. If he trys to make you do it anyway then you should really think about not being his girlfriend. Him pushing you is a sign that he cares about himself much more than he cares about you... (which by the way is what is also called 'a bad boyfriend').
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (6 July 2006):
 You need to just tell him NO, simple as that.
If he cant respect that, then you should not want him as a boyfriend anyway.
Besides, you should not be doing this at your age anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2006): Thanks so much for asking this question. If you don't want to, say you have changed your mind. It sounds like it's going too fast, which is perfectly ok - please do not do anything you don't want to. You are really very young for this - but these are the types of experiences you can't take back, so please trust your instincts and tell him you can't do it. Accept that he may be angry and prepare for that, think of the reasons why so you are ready when you are talking about it with him. If he does not want to talk about it, and says he will find someone else, let him go, you will be fine without him. If you do stay with him, make sure any time you spend with him is 'structured', no just 'hanging out' in his room or the park...because you know where that can lead to. Make sure any time you spend with him is on a double date, with someone you can trust not to do things you don't want to do!
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