A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've been (sort of) talking to this guy whose in one of my classes a little bit and recently we had our first 'official' coffee date after already having made out/ hung out at a couple of parties before and having class together. Weeelll, anyway I clammed up and became the most awkward girl ever on this date and he hasn't texted me since. (4 days - whereas before it was every other) Afterwards I texted apologizing saying I'm not usually that bad but got nervous and he said not to worry about anything.We have class together tomorrow but, I'm thinking of just not going (as I occasionally miss class for work anyway) just to save face.Problem is I actually like him, and despite my weirdness I think we're compatible still! What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): Guys! I'm the OP! Update! I went to class and he was adorable as usual, as if nothing was wrong :) I'm going to hope things keep going well and try not to stress! Thanks for all your help :D 3
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 February 2013):
 So you have been talking to him… not nervous then… and have hung out with him and even made out with him at parties…. BEFORE YOUR FIRST DATE…. And yet when you had a formal “date” you clammed up?
Why did a “formal” date make you so nervous since you already know this guy and have stuck your tongue down his throat? What was so magical about sitting in a coffee shop vs being at a party?
Skipping class to avoid him is like CMMP said childish and running away. Eventually you have to go to class as well as face him.
Just go up to him and say “I was a jerk and I’m sorry can I make it up to you?” and see what he says.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): Don't worry about it because it sounds like you are making it a bigger
deal than it actually is. Dont avoid him because this will make worry build up and will make it worse and it seems like you and him obviously both like eachother and he has told you that it is allright so what you need to do is see him and pick up from where you left off because if you feel fine about it then he will be likely to feel fine too.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 February 2013):
That's not a very mature thing to do. Just go to class and talk to him the way you would have before your date.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (5 February 2013):
Hi there. All is not lost.
It was only your first date.
Most people are pretty nervous on a first date with someone they really like, it's perfectly normal.
I'm quite sure he could see that for himself.
It's certainly not a reason a man would stop calling a girl for.
As long as you can honestly say you had a pretty good time and you enjoyed the date, and you believe he seemed to be happy during the date also, well then there is probably nothing at all to worry about.
Just as a matter of interest, quite a lot of men will usually leave it a few days after a first date - before calling the girl again.
So there is no need to to be too concerned about this.
Guys like to ponder over the date afterwards, and think about it all and how they enjoyed the date, before they give that girl another call to ask her out again.
So don't be surprised if it gets to be 4-6 days before he calls you again.
It doesn't mean it's over, by any means.
The worst thing you could possibly do now, would be to call or text him anymore to apologise.
What that could do, is to push him away.
So just leave it for now - and do nothing.
Just wait until he contacts you again - no matter how long that takes.
You don't want to short circuit it altogether, do you?
Often girls make the BIG mistake of calling a man after a first date to say they had a great time, etc., and then they find they don't hear from the guy ever again.
And this is NOT what you want, is it?
So regardless of the awkwardness of that date, just forget about it.
All you can do is be patient, and wait till you hear from him.
And don't sit by the phone waiting for him to call you, because if and when he does call, it will show in your voice that this is what you did.
It will come across as needy and desperate, and men really DON'T like that at all.
And this could be the end of it.
And yes, DO go to class.
Because this is another opportunity.
And when you see him, just smile and say "Hi."
Don't walk over to him, let him come to you.
At least he then sees for himself that you DO like him and that your feelings haven't changed at all.
And don't worry if he doesn't approach you in class, there is plenty of time outside of class for that to happen.
The main thing now is that you let HIM come to you - not the other way around.
Men like to chase their lady - they don't like to be hunted down.
Men like a challenge, they don't like it when it's too easy to win a girl's heart.
They like to work hard for what they want.
Then over the next few days to about a week or so, just see how things pan out.
It's really important that you keep your distance for now, and still be kind and respectful and happy.
Don't be angry or upset, just relax and be yourself.
And of course, smile and say hi, when you are passing each other, as you walk to another class.
Let things happen all on their own.
Good things come to those who wait.
And don't be afraid to go out with your friends socializing, because you are entitled to go out and have some fun too.
So don't sit around feeling down about this guy.
And also, DON'T sit at home by the phone waiting for him to call, just because you don't want to miss the call if he does ring you.
And if he does call and you are out, well then whoever takes that call can just say that you are out, and that they will tell you when they see you.
That way you become a challenge to him.
And don't worry, he will call again, I promise you.
He will keep calling until he gets you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2013): go to class! Talk to him. It hurts when he one you like avoids you, even if hey avoid you because they are awkward.
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