A
female
age
36-40,
*opeful31
writes:Hi guys! I'd like to ask for an advice. I am turning 29 and have my first bf. He's my co worker. After a week of being bf and gf, we had sex. He was the same man I wrote last september. I felt cheap when I gave myself to him. I only go with the flow because I do love him. It is my first time to fell in love. But what hurts me most, after sex he asked me if it's really my first. Then he didn't say anything. After what happened to us he's not answerng my call. He don't even text me just like what he did when he's still courting me. It really hurts me, I felt being used. What should I do now? We're just 12 days in a relationship. I love him soo much but I do feel also he's not true to me. Pls help me what am I going to do?
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cheap, co-worker, fell in love, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): Fool you once shame on him.
Fool you twice it's all on you.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (9 October 2013):
It may be tempting to go out with him again, but he'll only do the same thing to you. It's just that you hurt his ego by dumping him so he wants to prove that he could get you back. Don't fall for it... You'll be right back where you started.
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A
female
reader, hopeful31 +, writes (9 October 2013):
hopeful31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's asking me to go out n0w and talk. Idk if i'll go with him. He said he was thankful that i came into his life. He was just shocke d when i br0ke up with him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2013): You got a chance to get in the last word. You told him where you stand, and how you feel about the way you were cheated.
He couldn't say anything; because he had nothing to say in his defense.
Don't worry. It hurts, but you're a stronger woman now.
You have learned from this experience; and the aunts gave you advice that you can carry with you from now on.
Best of luck to you! Many blessings!
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A
female
reader, hopeful31 +, writes (5 October 2013):
hopeful31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyou guys were right... he does'nt have feelings for me and that's the saddest part. i learned from our h.r that he filed his resignation yesterday. so when i saw him online on fb, i asked him and he said he was sorry because he was not able to inform me. and he said he know im goin to get mad if i will found it out. i told him im not mad just because he resigned from his work, i am mad because he's ignoring me. then i told him to end our relationship. he said if that's my decision to end our relationship, he can't do anything about it. that's the end... then i told him i got used and got played. all i know is after he get what he wanted for me, he easily changed and ignored me. then he didn't say anything. i hope i can move on soon :(
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A
female
reader, mspollard +, writes (3 October 2013):
 Hi sweetie try to move on away from this feeling .. I know it hurts you deep in your heart Im thinking u already know the deal ,,yrs from now you will look back and say to yourself what the hell was I thinking... trust me you will go through alot or a few relationships to know the diffrence of lust and love... Good luck baby girl
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2013): I'm so sorry. He doesn't have any feelings for you. He sweet-talked you into having sex with him, and now he is done with you. He only pretended to be in relationship; because he thinks you're too eager and gullible. The "gullible" was just pretending.
You need to get a more mature attitude. Stop acting like a child.
First of all, there was no relationship. You can't walk around in a grown-woman's body thinking like a child. Just because you like a man, doesn't mean you should believe everything he says.
Don't feel cheap. You got played. Now own up, you let it happen. You knew all he wanted was sex. I know you're smarter than that. You used sex as bait. He took the bait and squirmed off the hook.
Please stop using the word "love." There is no love unless both of you feel the same way. You have a crush, or an infatuation; but you don't love him. You haven't been together long enough to do anything, but have sex.
Save your dignity and let him go. He's doesn't want to be your boyfriend, and it's not the end of the world.
Put looking for a man on hold until you can get the desperation out of your system. Guys are going to play you like a cheap fiddle, if you don't. Don't blame them if you make it easy.
Stop using your job for a place to find dates.
It will interfere with your job performance, create drama on the job, and will justify getting your ass booted out the door.
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A
female
reader, hopeful31 +, writes (2 October 2013):
hopeful31 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for the advice. It really hurts me especially after he get what he wanted,he's now ignoring me totally. He's going to be here tomorrow in my area, he has duty here. What should i do? Do i need to talk to him for formal break up or just ignore him also? It's very painful coz this is the very first time i fell in love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2013): No offense,but you don't sound experienced enough to be in a relationship with a dog like this. All this BF and GF talk is like saying a piece of paper makes a marriage. It only go's as far as the people involved in the relationship take it. You trusting this guy further is like de clawing a cat and throwing it in with a bunch of wolves.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 October 2013):
It sounds like he wanted to sleep with you and said all the right things to make it happen.
All you can do is learn from your lesson; next time don't get overly excited and sleep with a guy right away. If you do you're setting the tone of the relationship. If you wait awhile you end up making the guy prove through his ACTIONS, not his words, that he likes you. You also give him some time to develop feelings before sleeping with you, that way he won't just want sex, he'll want you.
Unfortunately you're in a position where you could easily be manipulated by this guy, so I'd highly recommend setting a plan and sticking to it. If you want to give him a chance that's fine. But if nothing changes you have to break up with him NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS.
In all honesty, it doesn't sound like you even have a relationship, I think he just used you. Don't feel bad about it. There's nothing you can do to change what happened, just learn your lesson and don't make the same mistake in the future.
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A
female
reader, ModelCitizen  +, writes (2 October 2013):
I'm sorry but I don't think this man likes you as much as you like him. I think he knew you wouldn't have sex if you weren't in a relationship, so he told you that's what he wanted too to get you to sleep with him. Now he got what he wanted so he's no longer interested.
I know you must be hurt, but you need to try your best to forget him. I don't think you're going to hear from this guy again, so you need to focus your energy on moving on with your life. You made a mistake in trusting him so early and assuming that his actions would match his words. Most people have done this at one point or another, so don't beat yourself up over it. Just try to learn and please never let yourself be pressured into sex before you are ready. If a man truly loves you, he will wait for you.
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