A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am planning on leaving my husband but unsure how to go about it. It was a semi arranged marriage and I have been miserable pretty much since we went through with it, I am miserable and see no future with him. Having said this, he is a kind good man, just not right for me. We have no shared assets and only rent a small apartment. However, I cannot decide if it would be better to rent a small place behind his back, moving my most important possessions there before, or first telling him then make arrangements. To do it beforehand seems sensible but cruel and underhanded. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (13 October 2015):
 Tell him first, and say when you expect to leave. There is no easy way to do this. Both of you will feel the hurt particularly if it is a long term relationship.
When you do move, do it in one go when he is at work. Try and leave the house looking as normal as you can. Don't strip everything out of it.I'm bitterly sorry for both of you.
He can take some comfort that another man isn't involved.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2015): If you are completely sure, make your arrangements first. Your husband might very well try to make you change your mind, or make it impossible for you to get your things out of the house. It is actually not cruel to stop leading someone on, and delaying the inevitable will only make the pain of the breakup much worse for both of you. You may only control how you behave you cannot control how someone else reacts. Let go of trying to control his reaction to your decision and live your life.
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