A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is it so difficult to find a casual sex partner?This guy I just slept with a few weeks ago, in the beginning we had an understanding that I wasn't looking for a relationship, just some fun. But since we had sex he has become clingy and needy and jealous. I told him to back off, that he knew it didn't mean anything but he's not really listening to me. So I finally just cut off all contact and stopped responding to his texts.This isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. Why do guys play it so cool in the beginning and then turn around and do this? Just cos I'm a girl, doesn't mean I am looking for marriage, I just want to have fun, explore my options and live an independent life, at least until I feel ready to settle down. I have told men this and they nod like they understand and they say, "Me too" but then suddenly they want to see me every night or even call me their girlfriend!?What is going on?
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male
reader, mariot4747  +, writes (7 August 2010):
most relationship start as casual relationship, and most guy love girls who just want to have fun.. maybe thats way they are so attached to you, because you are exactly what they wanted and what they were looking for, is really hard to get.. lets say a "friend with benefits" but you have to keep looking, and make sure you have a talk about all this first, make sure they feel the same way ( meaning that they are not looking for a relationship ) just keep looking
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010): We can't control how we feel or how we start to feel about someone. These guys are obviously attracted to you in the first place to want to be with you and attraction can grow into emotional feelings.
They're saying they want it casual too because in the beginning most relationships are casual. Some might even be saying it in the hopes that in the future you will like them too.
Casual sex partners are very rare, because one or both people are very likely to develop feelings. That's just how it works.
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A
female
reader, maofone  +, writes (7 August 2010):
guys become attached to you quickly because you're independent and not clingy like alot of women tend to be. people want what they cant have. alot of women who say no strings attached become attached and clingy. men run to the hills with those type. since u dnt care,that makes u a conquest
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Girls do this too.. They say "me too" to get a chance to be close to the person. A casual relationship isn't for everyone, and many find themselves developing feelings for whoever they have sex with. It is quite common in fact. So I am afraid your struggle to find a suitable partner will last a little longer. Use condoms though, if you find a lover who is unattached and doesn't care about you, he will also be sleeping around with others at the same time and you never know... condoms condoms condoms.
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