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female
,
anonymous
writes: My house has sold almost a year after I started sleeping seperate from my husband. I felt since the moment we married years ago that it was a mistake. I do have feelings for him, but not 'that' way, never could say 'I love you', never wanted or liked touching him. He is usually quite placid and pleasant, very caring in his way, generous, but it is like talking to a stranger. He is often on a completely different planet to me, we like different things and disagree on nearly everything, and if I don't go along with his choices he gets frustrated and sulks. Even so, now my home is sold I feel so bad and guilty at leaving him as he has got so used to me knowing everything on his behalf, yet I am so exhausted of playing that role. I used to joke that he thinks I am a computer as he asks me such stupid questions. Also, in the years I have slept with him I have found him repulsive as he when he is aroused he just stuffs his head into his pillow as if I am not a person. When someone suggested marraige counselling I was shocked at my reaction as I realised I do not want to condition myself to accept further years of unfulfillment and loneiness with him and leading him around by the nose. Yet I am finding it so difficult to break away at this stage and leave him to live alone after years of depending on me. Any opinions, bearing in mind I am not religeous and God had no part in my marriage.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 September 2006):
 We all find it really easy to depend on someone else if there is someone else there to do everything for us same with your husband, you do everything for him so much so that you are unsure if he can do it himself but like everything we all have learn to depend on ourselves and not other people and believe me if put to the test if he can't already do it he will learn he has to.
You can't stay with someone just because you feel guilty on them, you deserve to be happy just as much as the next person.
Good luck :o)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2006): It sounds like you married a man you didn't fully resepct to begin with and it went downhill after that. He was dependent on you and you may be feeling guilt because of that very fact. You could be thinking he'll have a hard time of it without you. He won't. dear. He's a big boy and he'll manage. You sound like a strong woman..who is fully capable of putting this 'guilt' aside. Forget about this and get on with living life. Good luck, dear
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