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Fighting with her made me have an axiety attack... How can we NOT fight so much?

Tagged as: Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2009)
A male Chile age 30-35, *lporrego writes:

I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and three months. I feel like things are reallyy going downhill since.. We broke up for a week or so and after that she just wasn't the same. She said something about being my lap dog and that she wasn't going to take crap anymore once. I never really brought it up again though. I dont know what it is.. She all of a sudden told me that some of the sexual things that we've done in the past are too much and that she never really liked doing those things. Things are just dry. I never see her excited to see me or anything like that but i KNOW she loves me. I just don't feel any passion or anything like that. All we ever do is fight. I'm becoming so insecure that 2 days ago we were at the movies and we started fighting, and i had an anxiety attack. I want to fix this. I hate feeling like this. I want things to go back to the way they used to but i don't know how to approach it. I don't want to tell her because i know she will just get upset about it. Almost all of this is my fault because of my insecurities but she's the one thats making me insecure. And she knows it. I don't know what else to do. Can someone Please help :/.

View related questions: broke up, her ex, insecure

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A female reader, Jenni2878 United States +, writes (14 January 2009):

Jenni2878 agony auntgirlfriends can sometimes be the pits..also remember some off the things she is saing could be not even here words like friends or family ringing in her ear. what made her get like this in the first place. what was the inital breakup over? try walking away if u guys start to fight or siting quietly till the situation diffuses and saying you refuse to fight and mean it! and do not let ur insecurites get the best of u if u keep focusing on them they will become a reality no matter what. stop and diffuse it now before its to late. if u can do it urself get counsleing online or at an office but make sure u like them and they are telling u the right thing

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A female reader, Ask JenniHearts  +, writes (13 January 2009):

Ask JenniHearts agony auntGirlfriends can sometimes be the pits. I know you say she loves you... but she is making you insecure and thats bad but you need to be the one who sits her down and tells her how you feel. You think she'll get upset? You never know that till you try. being truthful even when its hard is crucial in a relationship. You need to talk to her about everything your feeling.

if she can't take what your saying and feeling then you either need a break or a break up. that sounds harsh but you don't want to be in a relationship where she's calling the shot. a relationship is a 50/50 deal. your both in it so why can't you both want it.

the sex thing... some girls can't handle sexual activities and some men can't either. but she might be saying this because she wants the upper hand. girls do that in relationships sometimes when their feeling insecure about the power they have in a relationship.

the best thing i can tell you is take a week and think about it long and hard and ask your self."is this really worth it"

i hope this helps.

Jenni Hearts

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