A
male
age
36-40,
*onronjon
writes:Currently I am in a very rough patch in our relationship. We were engaged for like 2 years and in July she got an abortion. we both it was for the best. I was in college and she could barley find work and it wouldnt be a good time. She was the wild girl in highschool. Her Mom is trash and her Family dosnt care what she does. She grew up in a very bad enviorment where lieing got her what she wanted and she didnt even care about herself. She was raped in her highschool years and her mom told her she deserved it.Shes a great girl and has Alot of potentional to do something with her life. shes hard working and nice. She just picks the wrong crowds to hang with and almost always makes the wrong choices.Ok well after about two years of everything going great she seemed really down after the abortion. I told her she couldve had it before hand I never forced it on her. Well ( I found out 4 months later ). That Early august while i was at school she was hanging with some " friends". I mean friends by Just dudes who want to hook up with her and she cant see that. Well she drank with them and did pills and ended up doing both of them. Then she avoided me for about a week before leaving to her uncles to get a job.She made it out that she was knocked up again but she couldnt have it. then lied to everyone there that i was the bad guy and since then it was a constant fight between me and her uncle. Because she talked to me everyday and he didnt want that. To cut it short, after her whole not very thought out plan of lies was figured out by everyone she was caught. she was with 4 differant guys since she left and lied about everything.She felt like shit after she ruined our relationship and left then tried to remove me from her life but she couldnt bring herself to. All the guys were basicly bad copies of myself. and she couldnt explain anything. She said she left to better herself and ended up messing that up as well. Everyone agreed and herself that she needs to get help. Since so far im the only one she really trust to open up to.Shes coming back to move in with me. She will provide for herself and I will help her get the help she needs and get herself back on path. Im not doing this to save a relationship, im just helping someone who i really cared about not ruin there life and end up just like her mom.Anyone out there with some tips or experance with this kind of situation?
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Treat her well. That is all you can do. Inside, though she might choose to hide it, her heart is brittle and on the verge of crumbling. Try to introduce her to the RIGHT crowds. She is more drawn to the lowly 'friends' because they are familiar to her, she is somewhat used to a destructive environment. Show her the people she should be around, the ones whose minds go far deeper than any sex drive. If you do that, she will begin to fix herself. If/when she breaks down, you have to tell her that all is not lost and that she still has reason to place faith in herself because everything she has ever done has made her who she is and granted her with the potential to be so much better.
I hope that helps.
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