A
female
age
30-35,
*reath_in
writes:To be completely honest i'm not sure if i seek guidance or reassurance but as of right now i think i just need to know i'm not alone even though i am both mentally and physically . theres no good or bad way to say it so i'm flat out gonna say it like it is . my fiance is in jail right now .why ? well hes in jail for going AWOL for 2 months why ? again well simple really for awhile he had a mental break down and i had emotional one . one so bad that as i almost called it quits he came to see me because he could no longer handle the distance nor me walking away .i admit that is bad on my part for doing something like that but due to the fact that hes always gone i guess one day i just broke down and when i needed someone he wasn't really there physically i mean .so now because of me he returned and faced the consequences of his mistake. and after one month apart they decided his punishment would be jail. for 30 days .which i understand is not bad but then i was informed he'd be serving his time in the county jail because there was no room in the military one . i could receive calls if i wanted to but since i have a cell i can't get collect calls at 1st he still tried and all id hear would be his voice telling me he loved me then they stopped . and neither me nor his family have heard anything .I've been trying to see his release date something, anything but they say that the rules there changed and they couldn't inform me . i miss him terribly and i cry every now and then ..and i keep having these dreams about him coming back different and not loving me or wanting to get married and i fear ultimately that it will come true.people say a lot can change in a month and i know its true i know coming out that he will probably be more short tempered, bi polar,emotional,and wanting to get out more . and if i'm right it won't leave me for much room to be in the picture . i could be overacting but i'm scared I've never gone 2 days without talking to him now its been 2weeks and i know him well enough that if we don't talk he gets really angry . I've been hurt before and i just hope that this time me waiting and bonding with his family is not gone to waste.people say i should move on that if at age 20 i pictured myself actually waiting for a guy in jail answer is of course not but things happen just like life happens its not like some of us plan the way our life heads.... it just takes its course i admit saying it out loud sounds stupid but if i leave or walk away now it means that everything me and him did together to get to this point meant nothing .
View related questions:
fiance, in jail, military, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 May 2011):
 30 days is a mild sentance. He should be glad. There are many ways to leave the military with out going AWOL. Specially if he was having mental problems, but I guess that is all besides the point.
Is he going to get chaptered out ? If so he will most likely be booted with a dishonorable/less then honorable discharge, which in turn means he will have a VERY hard time getting a job. At least until 12 months from now when it will drop to a lower setting.
Can you two work it out? Only the two of you can know. But if you have doubts I think marrying the guy would be a huge mistake. Why not wait til he gets out, see how it works for you two, before you throw in the towel?
Honestly, you two sound like you are having a somewhat dysfunctional relationship.
|
