A
male
age
36-40,
*telthrt24
writes:i was with a girl for a year in a half in a pretty serious relationship. We lived together and it was really good for a while, but i ended up hurting her really bad because i cheated on her and then after that she had pretty much forgiven me but i broke up with her because "i thought i wanted to be single" After a time i realized it was all just me being a typical guy scared to commit my feelings 100 per cent and i realized how much i really loved her and enjoyed being with her. Most of all I loved how much she loved me and how much she sacrificed for me which over time i have learned is what true love is.So we have been broken up for a year and in that year we have both seen other people but they where all flings nothing that worked out, for either one of us. Yet through out the whole year has been a time when i have come to realize my true feelings and i have been wanting her back, well since pretty much the whole year or a few months short of it. Yet i previously tried to get back with her, but she wasn't having it. i could tell she was still hurt.But we've become friends and as i said she has dated other people but just recently she broke up with her then boy friend of two months and after not talking for a while she is all of a sudden wanting to be back in my life. Tonight she came over and we hung out and talked for a little while and she actually opened up to me as we where talking and told me how the way i hurt her in the past, emotionally shut her down, and she can't feel anything for anybody any more, because she just doesn't care. So today while i was at work thinking about her all day i wrote a letter that i never even planned on giving to her telling her how sorry i was for what i did and how much it was hurting me in the long run and how it had changed me and made me a better person. Her response to it was not bad she just read it and put it aside. then i tried to bring up a few points that she agreed with like how we where wasting our time in this going nowhere relationships but then she said she just wanted to be single for now and wanted to be friendsI guess my question is, how can i get her to trust me again? Is she doing this because she still loves me somewhere in her unconscious(or conscious) mind and this is where she wants to be? Or am i just a pass time somebody that she can talk to and relate to but really could never be with again?I know this is a way long post and i thank anybody who is read up to now. But i just really need to hear someones advise and its sad to say i dont have a positive male image or role model to talk to in my opinion, in my life.
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male
reader, loveonce  +, writes (11 May 2011):
 you can be sure of few things--
1. she is still hurt..
2.she is not in any serious relationship anywhere else(as per your descriptions).
3.she is not ready to trust you ,till you do not prove yourself again..
look ..she tried and could not get into any relationship coz of emotional jerk given to her sacrifices,by you..
she is still single..shows she is a nice and serious relation loving girl..as fault was on your part...so attempts should be made from your side too..
insist upon getting her..it may take a while..till she doesn't forgive you..have patience and keep trying..you will have her confidence,in proportion to how honestly you are craving for her..
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