A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:he walked away without a word and left town when I was pregnant. two days later said he left to give me space. I was hurt so I didn't allow him to come right back. then I had the baby he said he was so sorry about hurting me the way he did by leaving and I was now allowing him to come back. by the way we were engaged to be married as well during and before all this. then his ex/sons mother facebooks me to let me know they have been sleeping together for 6months and living together. I was hurt, crushed he then flew down here unexpected with flowers etc apologizing saying he only was with her because he thought id a never let him come back but yet ive been talking to him all them months and he was just talking to me as if nothing was going on. he also has hpv warts and asks me to still marry him. !! my head felt like it was about to explode. I let him sleep on my coach for a week since he flew to my state but as the days passed my anger and pain took over. I am so depressed and I just had his baby and I feel like how can he sit in my face and say he loves me and hes pulling my heart out at the same time? I said id talk to him since he was here. he cried etc.. begged pleaded. then says hpv many has it !!! as if its no big deal to ask me to just willingly infect myself!!!! and even without that he been sleeping with his ex for months since he's been away from me but was talking to me as if he never was!! I was pregnant and im just like how in the hell am I suppose to be ok and wrap my head around this!!to tell you im hurt is an understatement!!!!!!!!!!! I cant stop crying.i asked him to leave 4days ago.. he went back to his state and I just changed my email and number because I do not know how to even begin to be ok. chances are he will pop up again before he left he said he'll continue to prove im the love of his life and im just in pain still because it all seems to unreal!!!!!!! im crushed and I just do not know what to do. what am I asking? just I dnt know maybe just what would you do? or what do you think of this?
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crush, depressed, engaged, facebook, flowers, his ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to you all that took the time to lend your words and advice, I truly appreciate it. I just want to escape it all. but truly all the advice helps. thank you!!
A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (30 May 2013):
 What I think about this would not be printed so I’ll give you the G Rated version. I truly think you have done the right thing in asking him to leave and by changing your email etc. For me; I would not want the aggravation and emotional torment affecting my life from here on; with or without a child. The focus should now go towards the health of your baby and you.
He, no doubt will bounce back into the lap of his Ex and continue to abandon you when you need him most! So far this has been his track record; if that is how you want to live, then so be it!? Yet I cannot see it being worth risking your health and sanity for, under these circumstances? I hope you remain strong and not look back.
Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (30 May 2013):
 I think your Fiance escaped from you when you fell pregnant as he could not handel the responsibility. Sound like he runs for the hill everytime there is complications or difficulties.
He shacked up with the ex as an escape from the reality and then realised he loved you and wanted you back.
You cannot cut him off completely as the child deserves to know his/her father. I would suggest to start healing you need to forgive and NOT forget the betrayal but start as friends, dont sleep with him and let him earn the trust and your love. I gather from your hurt you truely love him. Sometimes people change. just remember you set the ground rules and your expectation also tell him if you get the slightest inclination that he is in contact with the ex, all doors are closed.
You will have to watch him closely and see how this works out. Take care and look after your bundle of joy as this baby really needs you and no man is worth tormenting yourself over.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 May 2013):
 This "man" sounds much more like a child.
You'll be much happier if you keep him OUT of your life...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): YOu poor dear. Do you have family around you and friends? Now is the time to surround yourself. Understandably, this is a devastating thing even at the best of times, much less when you've just had a baby and hormones are raging.
Be Kind to yourself and be kind to your dear little baby. You now have each other. Please surround yourself with your family and friends - even moving in with your parents if you can to help with the baby right now.
You don't have to make any decisions or take him back RIGHT NOW. His urgency is for his own comfort, that is it. He is a bastard and selfish jerk. He left you, slept with another woman for half a year (lieing to you) and now has an STD he'd like you to ignore! His level of selfishness is unfathomable.
It's truly unforgivable what he has done. You need to realize that you have a beautiful baby out of this and that you need to be gentle and kind to yourself right now. Don't have him around you, keep all contact to a minimal and have others around if he is there to see the baby.
HPV is not THAT common. Infact its a very dangerous STD which in women causes cervical cancer. You'd be crazy to sleep with him and get yourself infected. He's a dirty dirty man - sick in his head, selfish, a liar, a cheat and has an STD he thinks you should ignore.
You need to heel - please please surround yourself with family, friends and see a therapist. Your baby needs a healthy and happy mommy.
Lots of hugs.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 May 2013):
I hate to tell you this, but if he got you pregnant, it's likely he also gave you HPV. If not, there is a vaccine.
Regarding your fiance: I would be VERY cautious about taking him back. It's likely that you're his second choice and he just doesn't want to be alone. Which would mean may do the same thing in the future when something "better" comes along.
I hope you realize that this doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's just that the two of you aren't very compatible.
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