A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend been together for 5 years and we are getting married this summer i have been his only girlfriend his entire life he feels insecure because of that and he is constantly wondering what it would be like to be with another female since he has only been with me he feels like he missed out on something and i dont know what to tell him about the situation... sex is great we love eachother and we have good communication he just worries he missed out because i am his only girlfriend he doesnt feel manly enough and im tired of having this same conversation with him... how do i help him get over it??? sometimes i feel like leaving him just so that he could be single and have other experiences with other girls so he could shut up about it... any advice????
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male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Then you will need to discover what other males do?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I haven't slept with anyone besides him either he was my first
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): It's a common feeling for people to have.
Have you slept with other guys before him? That really ratchets up these feelings in men, when they've only slept with their GF and she has slept with previous men. Mismatched sexual histories is not good for a couple's compatibility. You having just one or two more partners than him is not a big deal when the difference is 12 and 14, but it's a lot between 0 and 2.
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A
female
reader, JadeLopez  +, writes (24 April 2010):
There are many people who has had one sexual partner their whole life, and they don't seem to be bothered about it. If he thinks he wants more, then you guys need to think of ways to spice up your sex life, including only both of you. Not by removing you from the picture or including someone else. Try telling him that that is not a problem and that hes not the only one. If he still doesn't understand, do beak up and find some real man with real feelings. Honestly, he is shameless that he thinks that way. Moreover, let me warn you, once you break up with him and when he has got enough experience, if he can't find true love again, it is likely that he comes back to you, DON'T, I repeat DON'T take him back. Because he's not worth it!!!
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A
female
reader, KRSMouse  +, writes (24 April 2010):
If you really love him and trust that deep down, he loves you back, I'd open the relationship up. Go out separately with friends and tell him he can do what he wants. But make it clear that you will too! Odds are he wouldn't be able to go through with anything anyway, he'd feel guilty the second he even began to consider it, and he would come running back to you telling you how stupid he had been. When you love someone, deeply I mean, doing anything with anyone else just feels wrong on so many levels. Giving him the opportunity to do it, I'd think would essentially put him off of doing it and maybe get these ridiculous thoughts out of his head.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Personally, I would put "Don't Know What You've Got 'Til It's Gone" on repeat and then leave the house, but I'm crazy.
Seriously, I would have one last talk with him about his feelings, and then I wouldn't listen anymore. Let him deal with his insecurity on his own. If he feels like he should leave and feel his wild oats, so to speak, he can go. He can then experience crappy bad dates, stalkers, crazy exes, baby mama drama and lonely nights in front of the television and he will have no one to blame but himself for losing a woman who deeply loves him.
Have you told him how this makes you feel? I mean, it's one thing to be proposed to but it's quite another to have your fiance essentially tell you you're not enough. At the very least he needs to stop trying to make you feel responsible for his commitment problems.
If he does not listen and won't stop talking about it, perhaps you do need to break up.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Brunel +, writes (24 April 2010):
I think you know the answer, you said it? You split up I fear, his wunderlust will only be satisfied by a n other females? Would he feel better if he had sex with one other girl? ten other girls ? a hundred other girls?If you feel in charge call the whole thing off. Forgive himn for his actions and experience is something you will benefit from too. By that I do not mean sex but interaction and relationships with other guys.You Miss seem mature anyway, it is in the text, we men will always be boys and have hang ups about sex and women? It will be I fear his loss not yours?
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