A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Female board member flirty texts my husband numerous times per day w/ lots of ;)winky smiles, etc. She constantly leans in and whispers in his ear in public and even takes my seat when I get up. I think she follows school events and knows where to find us so she can show up, with no reason to be there. Finally, I replied back on his personal cell phone. I told her to stop w/ the flirty winkies and to think about how she would feel if it were her husband. We faced off in his office at school and her true colors were evident. Now she is trying to cause trouble with other board members and is laying the ground work for future trouble for my husband by implying he didn't secure conversations on his phone, etc. Is this harassment? Because he told her to stop, and now she's pushing to make him uncomfortable. She's also demanding a method of "secure" communication with him after school hours. It's a school district....not the CIA. Opinion? Harassment? If not, what is it? He can definitely be made ineffective at his job if this continues.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2012): I've spoken with her in-laws and they are supportive of my opinion. After the sit down with us both, her husband came in and spoke with just my husband. Ground rules were agreed upon...the ones I set. It was up to us as to how to pursue. We thought she'd had enough humiliation that she'd just slink away. No...she went to other board members wanting it brought up in closed session. Came into his office with another member to witness her speech to him about how he violated policy since I had his phone. Well...he didn't. We pay that phone bill. It's his private #. Claimed she'd spoken w/ the district's atty's . So now her father in law has gotten involved, asked her to stop, We are hiring an attorney. I'm not sure where you go from here. Doesn't matter if he did enjoy it at one time or not, she was asked to stop and then went on a punishment trip trying to hurt him.She honestly sees no wrong in herself.
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Did you actually hear you husband tell her to stop? Or did he just tell you that he asked her to stop?
I think that the problem lies with your husband and he is actually enjoying all the flattery and is encouraging it. Time to discuss boundary issues with him.
You need to seek some legal opinion on how to stop this before it gets very out of hand. There must be some action that can be taken if this is truely a case of her sexually harassing him. If your hubby doesnt want to 'make a big deal of it' you can be rest assured that he is encouraging and enjoying it!
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (6 December 2012):
This is a public school district that receives money from your state...correct?
If these communications are occurring on city/county/state issued property, you should be able to demand that the state turn over the text records.
Please research the freedom of information act (FOIA) and see if you can use it to your advantage (you need to ensure that this woman does not continue to harass your husband or fire him over this.).
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 December 2012):
 Where's HUBBY in all this??????? He holds the key....
Good luck (you'll need it....)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 December 2012):
 Oh man. First of all, I'm sorry your husband has to go through this. Second of all, I'm sorry YOU have to go through this. You're a good wife to confront him head on when you did, because your husband is in a very uncomfortable bind when it comes to this woman.
Right now, your husband needs to document EVERYTHING. Keep all emails, keep all messages, including his own messages stating very clearly that he wishes absolutely no contact outside of professional contact. HE needs to be the first to go take this evidence to his boss and request that the harassment be stopped. You're right, the "sexual harassment" issue is stacked in the woman's favor, and the last thing your husband needs is to try an off-the-record huge confrontation only to have her turn it around and file a claim against him.
You are doing the best thing you can by giving him support, because he is truly living a nightmare when it comes to harassment and stalking behavior by her. Documentation and evidence will save him, so he needs to log everything she's said and done and when. Any emails, texts, calls, conversations, everything needs to be documented.
HE needs to control the conversation with his superiors. If he's not listened to, he can take his evidence and file a lawsuit for harassment as well. If his school has HR, he needs to file a formal complaint against her.
Winky smiles, leaning in to talk, and many texts and inappropriate unprofessional demeanor is unacceptable. How did this start?
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