A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I was in a relationship of seven years(which was failing)we were stuck in a rut, relationship was in a stand still.I was working and met this man(ten yrs older than myself)I was immediatly drawn to him! well a month later he asked me out for drinks, I said yes and then began to cry I knew I had to say goodby to a man ive known for seven years, so I did, and continued dating this older guy, who I worked with fulltime. Boy it was fun!!!!And I was falling hard,claims he was too! He told me he loves me early on.But something wasnt adding up, I did my homework and low and behold he was married and living with his wife! This went against all I believe, but I couldnt drag myself away, This man treats me soooo good, I mean hes wonderfull when were together, feels like a fairy tale. Well he swears that he is leaving the wife as soon as the youngest kid is off in college, he states he has been "exsisting" in life instead of living, but needs to finish his job as a father, and dont wanna walk away before the last child leaves. One night my cell phone rang and it was the wife!! Well I yelled at him! and called her back, she was sooo nice she just asked if ive seen him she needed to speak with him, so I told her he was on his way home and then asked if she was ok? she stated yes and asked if I was okay!!! she asked me (shes not from this country originally)if I was in love with her husband I said yes and she said I thought so you guys talk everyday(keep in mind she pays the cell phone bill with his money and he did not go out of his way to hide my number)I told her that I was lied to at first about his marraige, I asked her five times if she and him lived as husband and wife, she stated I dont love him im here for the kids. she also said hes a liar and you can have him. I asked her if she was just saying this cause she was bitter, she said no I havent loved him in a long time, you can keep him!This man has been living his life for the last ten years as a single man, just not flaunting it in front of his family. He is away at the army right now and ive been completly "faithful" hes due back in may. we write to eachother on the computer and write letters he always talks of our future. Im so in love, but the question if he will leave when his youngest goes to college boggles my mind. Is it possible hes telling the truth? weve been together year and half now.I hope I dont wake up one day look in the mirror and be old and alone because hes been stringing me along. At times im so confused, anyone evr in this situation? Or hear of one working out? please help,,,, sorry this was so long thanks again.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (29 January 2008):
His wife does not love him anymore and would be glad to give him away, so she can find somebody better.She is resigned to her fate.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys for the advice,,,even though its not what i wanted to hear. laura i will give a time frame. he promised hed leave when the youngest is out of the house, so ill give him that. can i ask you guys something?? Why did the wife agree? why was she so calm about the whole thing? this makes no sense to me. He is away and ive had much time to fester thoughts,,but still have every desire to be with him...thanks again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): If they'll do it with you,they'll do it to you.Even if he's unhappy with his marriage its never good to go outside your marriage.Finish the relationship you're in before getting into another one.There's a 50/50 percent of a marriage surviving and less then 20% if it started in an affair. I say get yourself would commit to you now and not give his childrenas an excuse. Children rather be from a broken home then live in one.You shouldn't give your power away to this guy.Ask anyone who's dating a married and they'll tell you they are being treated like queens,cause he knows that will keep you hanging on to him.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (28 January 2008):
I would not place too much hope and trust on a married man.
They will give plenty of excuses...
What you can do is to give yourself a time frame. When it is over and nothing happens, you will have to say goodbye to him.
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